Elizabeth Potts Weinstein » tweetup

#SXSWi pt 1: Unconsummated Fangirl Stalking of @gapingvoid

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 19:41:30 +0000

So generally speaking, I don’t get intimidated by anyone.

You make a zillion dollars more than me, are decades older, have a blog with a billion readers? Awesome. I’m much more concerned whether you are a non-idiot who is funny & has something interesting to say.

I pride myself on being able to talk to just about anybody.

But I totally have a ridiculous fangirl thing for @gapingvoid (Hugh MacLeod, author of “Ignore Everybody”). I re-read his book once a month. Tell everyone to buy it. Read his blog. Follow his twitter. I’ve even bought a print of one of his cartoons as the first piece of art for my wall. Actually, the first art print I’ve ever bought in my life.

And he was on my short list of who I wanted to meet (aka stalk) at SXSW.

So instead of finding him in his booth or at a coffee shop or a bunch of other places I could have tracked him down for a conversation (because, as I lamented to Sarah Robinson, “I don’t think I could talk to him!” or “I might throw up on him!”), I chickened out.

And went to hear him on a panel on Monday.

And tweeted about it.

And 15 minutes before the panel, he @ replied back that I should go up to him before they start, and say hi. (omg!)

But I missed the tweet, in my lame effort to concern iPhone battery power. #technologyfail

And after the panel, even after I had read the tweet, I could have talked to him.

But I freaked and went down the escalator instead to grab lunch with a friend. #lameexcuse

Later I tried to find him in the expo at his table. He was either not there or was being interviewed on camera. #stalkingfail

So what’s the lesson?

I should have talked to him. When he *invited* me to.

Or found him at a coffee house, or some other place where he was not being bombarded by people.

The lesson is that everyone is fangirl/fanboy about someone.

We all are slightly insane.

This happens when someone says or does something that has a huge effect on our lives, before we’ve connected with them as human beings. It’s completely one-sided. And can get a bit wonky.

But really … we are all just people.

We want to make a connection with the very people who love our work.

I mean, wtf are we doing this for anyway, if we don’t get to talk to each other?

So the next time I get all fangirl over someone, I’m tracking them down & making a connection before I get too wonky.

And if you see me at a conference or tweetup, and want to come talk to me, do it.

If I’m sitting by myself, it’s not because I want to be alone, it’s because I’m an introvert and networking is scary.

If it helps, send me a @/DM on twitter first, and I’ll give you a specific invitation.

See you then.

Have you ever been nervous to talk to someone? (Did you every throw up on someone, because I’m kind of worried about that.) What happened when you got up the guts to talk to them?

Why SXSW? Why Go to Live Events Anymore?

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 14:30:02 +0000

Right now I’m in SFO airport about to board a plane to Austin (via Las Vegas) for South by Southwest Interactive (SXSWi).

But in the age of social media, of being able to connect with people via twitter, facebook, phone, email, skype … why do we need to go to live events at all?

Why go to seminars and conferences to learn? Why not just learn new stuff via information products and

Why do we need in real life?

Are you coming to SXSW? Make sure we find each other!!

And … what have you got out of meeting people in real life?

Do You Want Every Day to be Epic?

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 02:15:23 +0000

Of course you do.

Join @ElizabethPW and @AllisonNazarian for the weekly twitter chat “Epic Adventures in Everyday Life” (#epicchat) on Wednesdays at 5:00 PM Pac / 8:00 PM EST

Join EPW (closer-to-the-edge girl) and ANaz (closer-to-home girl) as they explore:

How life doesn’t stop when you become a mom … it begins.
Why you need (at least) a bit of crazy and adventure in your life, even if you are not a risk-taker or adrenaline junkie.
How you don’t need to travel to India or jump out of a plane to transform your life.
How to marry the idea of crazy & fun & freedom into real, practical, day- to-day life.
Why it’s hard to bring adventure into your life in a vacuum, and how real and powerful friendships are your “key ingredient” for making life itself an adventure.
How to run your career/business, have a real life, go on adventures, and be a great mom … all at the same time … without being frozen by guilt or overwhelm.

Each week we will choose a different topic & invite special guests to share their awesometastic ideas & inspirational stories with you.

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein (aka @ElizabethPW, aka EPW) is a mom, entrepreneur, and crazy adventurer who feels more at home in airports, hotels, taxicabs, new friends’ homes or while tweeting up in bars, climbing a mountain or randomly walking around a city, than she does at the place where she keeps her stuff. She uses her travels as inspiration for her blog & videos, for coaching clients, and for creating new programs exploring how to Live Your Truth in business and life. If you want to follow her particular kind of insanity, check her on on twitter, facebook, or on her blog (EPW: of course you know about that, you’re on my blog right now. lol.).

Allison Nazarian (@AllisonNazarian) is a Mom, writer, empire-builder, author, former introvert, former control freak, future bookstore owner and current NFL junkie and Howard Stern fan who craves the comfyness, safety and familiarity of home while slowly but surely embracing the fun, flow and adventure of life on the edge. Allison writes copy, columns and blogs and teaches others how to do the same. Connect with Allison on twitter, Facebook or at AllisonNazarian.com.

The Truth About Vegas, or What I Did in 2009

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 01:47:24 +0000

I woke, sat straight up in bed, in tears, knowing in my bones that this was the moment.

And I thought: “oh, fuck it.”

The moment was at 5:30 AM in a hotel room in Caesar’s Palace on Saturday, June 6, 2009.

I came to Las Vegas for a big “find your life purpose” event to connect with people. Thinking, I already *know* my life purpose (ha!), but I’m sure to learn something from being around all those people trying to figure out their lives.

I was also going to Scott Stratten’s Monster Vegas Tweetup that Saturday night. Back then I never would have flown into Vegas just for a tweetup (wow, how times have changed!) but since I was in town anyway, it made sense to also take those social media relationships to the next level.

So I was in Vegas for the networking.

Or so I thought.

But wait a minute. Before I can tell you the rest of the story of Vegas, you need to understand where I had already been.

About 6 years prior, I quit the last job I will ever have (an attorney in Big Law) to start a financial & estate planning business.

I had some success from marketing with google adwords and a write up in the local paper (hey, it was 2004, that stuff still worked!).

Got married. Had a baby.

Got bored.

Discovered coaching and personal development and The Secret. Discovered internet marketing and information products and seminars. Spent tens of thousands of dollars learning everything there was to learn, every bright shiny object and magic pill and system and secret and mastermind that was going to revolutionize my business. And my life.

But (as you can guess), nothing worked.

Then in April 2008 I made the first real decisions.

To stop waiting for life to start. To pull Gracie out of preschool. To close my financial & estate planning practice to do something else. To travel. To be sexy just as I am.

And those decisions got results. I lost 35 pounds. Reconnected with my daughter. Launched a new website. Did some live speaking gigs. Had some fun.

But the whole thing wasn’t clicking.

No matter how hard I worked, no matter how many information products and programs and events and masterminds and coaches and books and social networks I read/did/hired/saw … my business was falling apart.

Making less money that it had ever made. Nothing I launched really sold. Even though I followed all the systems, wrote the copy just as they said, nothing made me profitable. Total #businessfail

And, my marriage was falling apart.

Or, I should say, my marriage had fallen apart.

I faced the truth on the day in April 2009 when my 4 year old daughter said: “Mommy, I don’t think Daddy loves you anymore.”

And I burst into tears. Because I knew she was right.

Spent the next 2 days crying (yes, mortifyingly, in front of my daughter). Not because he didn’t love me or because I didn’t love him. That was obvious. And had happened years before, involving unresolvable dealbreakers on both sides.

But because for the first time in years I imagined being alone.

Having to get an apartment. Pay for all my own stuff. Solve all my own problems. Figure out who I was without reference to another person.

I was seriously afraid I would be homeless or have to move in with my parents or, worst case, have to shut down my business & go get a job.

So I spent the next 2 months trying. Being super nice & supportive & helpful. Planning date nights. Strategizing seductions. All to nothing. Total and complete #marriagefail

And then I went to Vegas.

As I’ve said before, something happens to me in Vegas. The state of that city, of the people living in an alternative reality on the strip, is indescribable. I’m out of my normal routine. Every person, object, energy is different. Jarring.

Vegas stirs me up.

For 2 days in that room of people figuring out their Life Purpose, I heard over and over again that you have to “step into” your purpose. You have to made the decision.

And I thought, “god damnit, didn’t I already do this? I spent money! I invested in myself! I made decisions, didn’t I?”

But no, I hadn’t. Or, I hadn’t make the decisions that were important to my journey.

Because the decisions were not about spending the money.

The decisions were about what I was willing to do.

Who I was willing to be. What I was willing to risk.

For those 3 days I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I was barely able to have functional networking conversations and kept retreating to hide in my hotel room.

Because I knew.

I knew that this was it. I was either going to make the big choice, or chicken out. Maybe forever.

And then on Saturday morning I woke up at 5:30 am and sat straight up in and declared aloud to the universe and my empty hotel room my three decisions:

1 – I was going to be okay if I got divorced.

I had to trust myself. I faintly remembered that I was someone before I got married. I decided that I would be capable of paying the bills and handing my life, alone. Or, I had to find out if I was capable. And the only way to find out, was to do it.

2 – I was willing to be uncomfortable.

To take the action in my business, and life, that made me nervous. Scared. Out of my element. Make the phone calls to fancy people. Be a coach even though I never went to coaching school. Say what everyone was thinking and no one was saying. And not just once … that I was willing to be uncomfortable every day. Make “being uncomfortable” a way of life.

3 – I would step forward as a leader.

Stop waiting for someone to tell me what to do, what action to take, how to make it work. Stop looking for mentors and guru’s to follow. Stop waiting for magical fairies to come down and give me a degree in blogging or living life. Take a stand for my community. Step forward to fill the void.

And then I left that hotel room, forever shifted.

Ended up at the tweetup that night. For those who already had met me in person, they said I was funny. Relaxed. A different person.

But I wasn’t a different person. For the first time in almost 10 years, I was myself.

More happened that night in Vegas. Met amazing people who later became some of the best, most real friends I have ever had. Drank an uncountable number of margaritas. Recorded epic video interviews. Dirty danced on the dance floor of The Bank. Walked barefoot through the Bellagio.

But it was that 5:30 AM moment that changed my entire life.

So in this “what I did in 2009″ post I could also tell you all about all of the other awesomenesses of my year.

Reinventing my entire business. Launching Tell Me More and The Live Your Truth Project and 6 Weeks to Live Your Truth Program and 4 Weeks to Video. Getting divorced. Posting insanely brave video blogs. Deciding I must be open to falling in love again. Going with the flow. Appreciating men. Going to Vegas (again, and again) and New York City. Hosting my first (and second) tweetup. Burning bridges. Embracing my femininity. Planning a New Year’s Eve trip to NYC. Getting more than 100 comments on a blog post. Deciding to move to San Diego. Deciding to be crazy. Planning for an adventure in Austin. Deciding to move to San Francisco. Taking care of my daughter in the hospital for 10 days. Deciding to be 100% myself, 100% of the time.

But all those amazing things came from that one moment.

And that is life. Everything you are today, every terribleness and amazingness and profoundness that you are today, comes from one moment.

One choice.

Yes. No. Today. Never again. Fuck it.

So what did you do in 2009?

When was your moment? What decision did you make? Who did you decide to be?

(psst … it’s not too late. it’s never too late. you can still make your choice. you can still decide who to be. today.)

Skype, Starbucks & Skin Grafts: 11 Strategies to Find Friends in Fantasyland

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 20:02:00 +0000

I always wanted Friends.

Every Thursday night in my Junior year of college, a group of us girls would run back from night class to gather in Mindy’s dorm room, drink illicit margaritas, and revel in the details of a romanticized version of New York City life.

The scenario portrayed on the 1990s TV show “Friends” seemed perfect.

A group of singletons living in the big city. Alone, but together. Always someone to share the events of the day, have a drink with, or support you when your non-secret lifelong crush didn’t love you back or when you were giving birth to your brother’s triplets conceived by artificially insemination.

But that never really happened when I got out into the real world.

Yes, obviously I had people I hung out with in law school, work friends from the law firm, and acquaintances here and there from my daughter’s playgroup or the local business networking event.

But I never really found my people.

People where I didn’t have to play a part. Where I was not restricted to doing just what I “should” do. Where I didn’t have to hold back a part of my insanity so I fit into the norm of the group. Where I could share not just the positive stuff, but also all of the crap of my life.

So, I figured that the magical support structure I had envisioned was just that. Fiction. A fantasy.

Fast foreward to one week ago from today.

I was home alone, chatting on Twitter & Skype, working on some tasks for The Live Your Truth Project 2 and planning a weekend of untold productivity & video creation.

Then the phone rang.

It was my ex-husband. Our 4 year old daughter had suffered second degree burns on her leg from scalding hot water at a KFC and was being transported via ambulance to the Regional Burn Unit at Santa Clara Valley Medical Center.

So before I ran off in a frenzy to meet them at the ER, I invoked my support structure.

No, I didn’t run over to a neighbor or call a family member.

I updated my Twitter account.

“going to the ER: ex called to say that my daughter has 2nd degree burns from hot water spilling on her. will update.” 12/4/09 7:55 PM

Over the last 7 days I live tweeted my entire experience as the mother of 4 year old who has 2nd degree burns over 10% of her body.

Almost fainting as they cleaned her wound. Her refusal of pain medication, flabbergasting the hospital staff. My sleeping on the worst bed that had ever been invented. Her grilling the surgical resident on the risks of waking up during the procedure. Our nightmare of her needing surgery to attach fake skin to her wound, and relief when we found out three days later that the surgery worked. And our joy a few hours ago when she took her first post-burn steps down the hospital hallways.

The amazing thing is that I didn’t have to do this alone.

As soon as I sent that first tweet, dozens, hundreds of @ replies, DMs, and text messages immediately came in offering prayers, energy work, and positive thoughts … and asking how they could help.

And these were not empty offers.

I had Allison Nazarian (@allisonnazarian) on permanent text message alert, available for constant updates & to vent every untwitterable compliant, doubt, internal struggle, and self-punishing thought.

Sarah Robinson (@sarahrobinson) recruited a San Jose local Karmen Reed (@kickofftopic) to deliver my much missed Starbucks mocha to the hospital. Total surprise. And, they got the order right.

Balloons delivered to the hospital from Scott Stratten (@unmarketing) & Alison Kramer (@nummiesbras), providing decoration, floating punching bags, and a discussion starter for my 4 year old to entertain her guests (aka hospital staff).

Ori Bengal (@couchsurfingori) texting with original offensive-to-normal-people jokes about burn units to distract me that first long night.

And that’s just the beginning.

Hundreds (by now, thousands) of well-wishes & thoughts & offers for help via Twitter @ reply and DM, Facebook comments & wall posts, multi-day Skype conversations, emails, blog comments, text messages, flowers, gifts, offers to run errands or pull strings. From clients, friends, family, readers, followers. People I’ve known for decades and people with whom I have never directly communicated before this week.

And almost all of these people I either met for the first time this year on Twitter or they were casual business colleagues who became real friends via social networking.

Yes, I’ve got new clients using social media. Yes, I’ve got speaking gigs and joint venture opportunities from blog and Facebook posts. Yes, Twitter has been my ultimate business mastermind.

But it is the deep personal/business relationships I’ve developed using Twitter, Facebook and blogging that are profound.

It’s been where I found my people.

It’s been where I brought my Friends fantasy into reality.

And it did not happen by accident. It did not happen overnight. It did not happen using some magical strategy taught by the leading social media gurus.

It’s actually just simple common sense.

But while we were all born with common sense, somehow it was socialized out of us along the way.

So here are 11 reminders as you navigate the mysteries of the social media revolution to get you back into living your truth. So you can find your people.

1. Give a sh*t about people. If there was nothing else that you take away from this post, this is it: care. Really care about people. Who they are. What they want. Their dreams. Their problems. Their greatest fears. What makes them excited. What rocks their world. If you really, really give a sh*t about people, you will never go wrong. In social media. And in life.

2. Treat your “friends” as if they were your friends. When we crossed the line from having prospects & leads to having friends & followers, some marketers continued to market in their slimy way and others stopped marketing entirely. Obviously, neither extreme is effective.

Here’s the social media promotion test: if your “in real life” friend had a problem that you knew you could solve, would you tell them about how you could help them, or keep silent? Of course you would tell them.

If that’s the energy your self-promotion comes from, then tweet/post/email it. You’re not shamefully (or shamelessly) promoting yourself. You’re making sure your friends are aware that you can help solve their problems. You do us a disservice by hiding your brilliance. Let us know how you help.

3. Let them know you’re listening. The difference between 10,000 followers and 4 million followers is irrelevant. Seriously. It’s all about the relationship you have with your followers. Or friends. Or subscribers.

Ask questions. Answer @ replies. Reply to blog comments. Join the Facebook comment stream on your recent status post. Reply to emails. Let people call you. People want to feel like they are being heard, that their opinions, their stories, their passions really matter. But make sure that you’re not just listening in silence … to develop a relationship, they must know you are listening.

4. Join the conversation. So what if you don’t already have a bunch of followers/readers/friends? (don’t forget, *all* of us started with 0 followers on twitter.) What you do is join other people’s conversations. What are they tweeting about? Where is the debate going on in blog post comments? Who posted an interesting link on Facebook?

And these conversations don’t all need to be about business. Actually, most of them won’t be. They’ll be about regular life, the stuff you would talk about if you were meeting for coffee or having drinks in vegas. About travel. Kids. Dogs. News. Coffee. The latest preparation strategy for bacon. Creative uses for duct tape. Methods for killing ants using all organic ingredients. Share your resources, stories, opinions, laughs. Join the party.

5. Speak the things that everyone thinks but no one says. Everyone is walking around with a thousand things they are thinking but not saying (tweeting, blogging) out loud. And I know this because, for some reason, people tell me about their unspeakable things. And while I would never reveal any one’s unspeakables, when I see a trend, a common internal conversation, one of the reasons I’m on this earth is to bring that conversation into the open.

Not only is entering into the conversation in people’s heads a brilliant method for writing great copy, it’s also a way to skyrocket to leadership of a conversation — simply be the first to say what everyone thinks. People will be grateful & empowered to speak their own truth. You will be a nexus for a movement, an influencer of the big idea.

6. Be vulnerable. There’s a lot of talk about being authentic and transparent. And yes, I try to be both of those things. But so many people resist authenticity as a cliche & transparency as sharing too much information, I want to give you another way to think about sharing enough to bond you to your community.

Share the whole story about something. The bad side of what didn’t work out. The truth of the project that failed. How your business is great but your personal life has gone to heck. What’s not working in your business. And of course, share how you are turning it around, the lessons you have learned, what you are changing for next time.

My videos sharing how my business did not make a profit & how I was getting divorced, and my blog posts on being a crazy person and the bad side of transparency, were the most commented on & read of anything I have shared. Everyone has stuff that does not work out. There is always a “whole story” … sharing yours builds trust & endears you to your audience.

7. Tell a story. Every communication you have should tell a story. Every blog post, podcast, video … and even every tweet. The collective work of all of your content should share the story of you, and your business.

Yes, you can tell a story in 140 characters.

Not the whole story, of course (and besides, telling only part of the story creates a great cliffhanger). But you can share how the smell of these cookies baking remind you of your great-grandmother. The fact that you are not just buying shoes, you are buying your 45th pair of shoes. How you are not just hiking, you are climbing your 27th peak and can’t wait to read the peak log to find out who has gone before you.

Everyone loves a story. We as humans have been bonding over stories since we first sat around the original campfires. That’s how we bond with our children, and what we love to hear from our grandparents. Share your stories, and we will listen.

8. Don’t believe your own bullsh*t. When I go on someone’s bio or twitter profile and it says “social media expert” or “social networking guru” I involuntarily cringe. Why? Well, either they are trying to B.S. that they are an expert (when they are not), or they have some expertise but have lost touch & become lame know-it-all’s, unable to learn or listen.

Stay humble. No one knows everything. We are all still learning. And besides, everything keeps changing.

Find people who know something you don’t. Share when you screw up. Acknowledge when people with less experience or notoriety get it right (sometimes newbies have perspective we don’t, anyway). Be open. Pay attention.

9. Have fun. This is real life. And real life is pretty freaking ridiculous. Real people are ridiculous. Every kind of human, opinion, race, religion, political party, business model, theory, lame marketing campaign, and insanity is rampant through the social media universe.

So instead of spending time being offended or getting into a hot debate, have fun. Laugh it off. Share your own ridiculousness. Tell us how you are an idiot. Get over yourself & get real.

10. Be patient. The above “going to the ER” tweet was about my 19,000th tweet. Assuming around 100 characters a tweet, that’s over 300,000 words. Enough raw content to fill at least 6 or 7 books.

You will not get profound results from being on twitter for 5 minutes a day. You will not develop relationships from a few weeks of implementing a social media plan. Building relationships takes time, energy, and effort. Adjust your expectations. Make the investment.

11. Take it to the next level. Chat on skype. Talk on the actual telephone. Text message. Email. Have coffee, drinks, lunch. Connect at seminars. Tweetup.

Social media is a low transaction cost, highly scalable method to start a conversation and create a bridge between your other connection points.

But only by connecting in real life (IRL) can you feel the energy of the other person, who they are being, their presence. That next level is where life long friendships and business partnerships are made. Connecting IRL is what has changed my life (… and that’s a story for another blog post).

So has social media worked for you? Are you getting any results from Twitter? Are you still looking for your people? Please, share your story / questions / comments / feedback below!