Elizabeth Potts Weinstein » Having It All

Revelation! No More Waiting; Live the Vision Today

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Sat, 24 May 2008 04:13:40 +0000

About 6 months ago I started journaling again. From when I got a bit an agist at age 10 all the way throughout law school, I always kept a diary/ journal to complain about life, discuss my heartaches, and brainstorm ideas for the future.

When I moved in with my husband I stopped journaling. Why? I think I was scared he would read it. As if a man would really want to read the ramblings of the inner workings of my woman brain … only a fellow chick would be noisy/curious about a journal. And for those of you who know Mark, he’s such a Mr. Integrity he would never violate my confidence. What a nut I am.

Anyway, while reading my friend Sandy Grason’s book, Journalution, I started journaling again. Bought an adorable lime green journal, and wrote in it with an archive-quality black pen whenever the idea took me — both for serious journaling and just for notes about ideas for my business. Recently I wrote an entry in response to the following "prompt" from Sandy’s book — "describe your perfect day."

So I labeled the day April 29, 2011 (3 years from that day — as if that gives permission for anything to be possible). So what did I do on my perfect day? I was still working from home on my business, writing, making a video, and networking online (but no phone calls, no admin work, no legal work). But the real interesting thing is that Grace was not in school — in this perfect day I’m homeschooling her and driving her to fun classes/groups — and Mark’s not at work, he’s working from home on his own at-home business.

As I reviewed that journal entry, I had an epiphany. Why wait for 3 years? Why not have that day tomorrow?

So I did. Okay, a few kinks have to be worked out (backlog of client projects, my husband is still a partner in a law firm, still working on the less-than-4-hour admin work per week thing) — but it totally changed my outlook on every day.

Now instead of spending all day waiting for Grace to take a nap or go to bed so I can work, I view my time with her as part of the end goal — whether we are learning something together or just enjoying each other’s company.

And the work on my business is less hurried. I’m not working for a goal six or 18 months out — I’m working for the enjoyment I get from it today.

Sounds simple, but has fundamentally changed how I live my life each day. As a goal-oriented, ambitious person, I was always working/living for the next goal, the big vision, the to-do list. I never could reach the goal line … because it kept moving.

Now, my life is about just be-ing in the moment, enjoying how much I have — and no longer waiting for something to arrive.

***If you want more info about Journaling, check out http://sandygrason.com and Sandy’s book Journalution. If you want more info about living in the moment, check out http://marieforleo.com and her Productivity Secrets course.

Am I doing it for her … or am I doing it for me?

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 12:24:23 +0000

Many working moms, in or out of the home, say the are "doing it for their kids." Even with mompreneurs — women claim starting a business is for their kids, to be a role model, earn an income, and, eventually, pass on their business. I make no such claim. I am doing this for me. Yes, I am also a role model for Gracie — an example that a woman can love her work, be passionate about helping others, and achieve financial success. Yes, I also am physically there for Gracie, around most of the time — the "quantity" theory of spending time with your kids — and I consciously spend concentrated "quality" time with her each day. Yes, I am earning an income for the family, and the expansion of my business in upcoming months will bring in even more income and success. But I am doing it for me. I love running my own business — being in charge, able to switch directions in a moment, able to explore the success of any new idea or product, as soon as I make a choice. I love owning my time, able to spend time on my business, or myself, or with my family — completely up to me. I love working with human beings as clients, helping them with real problems that plague their lives, and make their lives significantly better. I love that whatever success I achieve (and whatever failure happens), is totally and completely mine. I also am completely in love with my daughter. I love that she spends more waking hours with me than anyone else. I love her whispy hair, her smiling eyes, the way she runs with her arms wide open when I enter the room. I love when she surprises me by figuring something out the "books say" she should not be able to do for another six months. Or when she suddenly is able to walk down stairs by herself, or call someone by their name. I don’t want to miss any of it. But I also know that if I was there for every second, I would burn out. I would not appreciate it, because my damanding, high-energy toddler would drain every ounce of energy out of me, if I did not have something completely for myself, to recharge my batteries. Yes, being a Mompreneur also benefits my family. But I am doing it for me.

Guilty of neglecting my fifth child …

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 11:12:14 +0000

… my blog. Life has been running away from me. My food poisoning put me five days behind. But since my life is barely able to function in the time available, it is two weeks later and I’m still catching up. Of course, the day I got sick was the same day I launched the promo for my 8 Weeks program — great to get that off the ground, but that set in place a cascade of promotion, tasks, and projects that needed to be in place before this Tuesday, September 26th — the first week of Session A of the program. I’m still not finished with all of those tasks, and the perfectionist in me is very frustrated that I’m not completely ready for the first session — much less that I have not finished the promised Special Report to the early signups. As such, long-term goals like updating my blog regularly becomes low priority in a world of immediate deadlines. And to get all of this done, I am neglecting Gracie. Well, not really, Gracie’s fine — but I am not paying the level of attention that I think I should. She’s been watching enough Dora to not be paying much attention anymore, except for the random "map!" and "backpack!". One great side effect is that Gracie is playing more independently with her toys (and random objects grabbed from various drawers, shelves, and boxes in the house), making up little games and having discussions with her webble-wobbles about whether they are "okay." She picks up her weeble wooble and holds it to her face. Gracie: "Okay? Okay." Then she gives the weeble a hug and a kiss. Gracie: "Huh. Kie." The weeble allegedly returns the kiss. Gracie: "Aahh." Does it count that I am in the room when she is doing all these things? The "quantity" versus "quality" debate. But I really do both — I still hang out with her in her room, dancing (spinning while clapping or saying "wee!" with arms in the air) to her World Music CD, read her books, go the park — but I am not hanging out with her every second of the day. But I wouldn’t be doing that either if I was a stay at home mom — I would still have to run errands, do chores, and take care of family business. What is the standard? Where does this "should" come from? Some "perfect" mother who spends every moment of her day challenging her child with developmentally approrpriate toys and books (and who does not even own a TV)? Is that even possible? Do we even really want that? Shouldn’t our kids learn to play independently? Shouldn’t our kids learn that parents have lives too (and that even if our kids are our first priority, they are not our ONLY priority)? Then I wonder — is this really a good argument, or am I just making an excuse? Perhaps, though, the fact that I worry about this issue keeps it from being a problem — if I didn’t worry about it, that would be a red flag. When you give birth, instead of handouts on breastfeeding and diapering, they should give handouts on guilt. Much more applicable.

What is a Mompreneur?

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 12:07:30 +0000

A Mompreneur is a mother who starts a business — pretty obvious. Ironically, if you search google blogs, you will find some women business owners and women entrepreneurs embracing the title — and some who are offended. The ones who are offended typically argue that it diminishes their business to call them a mom-preneur, as if that means they are selling $10K worth of beauty products, not starting a “real” business. (I argue that the $10K/year of beauty products IS a real business — just run at a small scale)

But, if you search Mompreneur, you will find this term used to describe women who have founded multi-million dollar businesses, some even publically traded. And describing a network of women who are starting small at-home businesses, as well as small-to-start businesses they plan to grow to empires.

The complaints are ridiculous feminist backlash. Acknowledging that we are women, and mothers, is not diminishing our success, or hard work, or legitimacy. It’s creating a community of women with similar challenges, who can network and support each other. It’s not like the big boys are calling us mompreneurs to keep us out of their fancy wood paneled club — we are calling ourselves mompreneurs, and creating our own club. Except ours has big windows overlooking a playground.

I call myself a Mompreneur as a completely conscious branding strategy. I am running my business differently because I am a mom and want to spend time with my daughter — not running it in any lesser way, but infinitely more efficiently, using technology and making choices to create a business where I can make great money, help people, and still have a great life with my family. And, that is part of my shitck. Having toys in my office, a playset in the garden, pictures of my daughter on my About Us page — my clients know I have a daughter, it give us a topic to discuss and bond over, and they buy into ME, not just my services.

Gracie has helped me take my businesses to the next level — now I have more reasons than ever to run my business Smart instead of Hard.

The Perfection Monster Rears Its Head

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 15:28:05 +0000

My name is Elizabeth, and I am a perfectionist.

Funny, because my house is cluttered, and right now my living room floor is covered in cracker crumbs, and the sink is full. I have a ton of ideas for my business that are not yet started, and dozens of unfinished projects around the house. So, I don’t look like one of those perfect-everything-in-its-place chicks.

But, that is not the definition, is it? The definition is by what standard do I judge myself (and other people, for that matter). Not by okay, or good enough, or a good job, or nice try. But, by give-it-1000%, best quality, everything to everyone, never-a-break, perfection.

I intellectually know that I need to spend time on myself, so I do that. I understand that 93% is usually seen as great by everyone, and the last 7% is not worth it — but I secretly feel like a tiny bit of a failure for not giving it the last 7%. I have learned that I cannot do everything, it is okay to say “no” and delegate — but I feel like a looser for ever asking for help — and, that no one else could ever do as good of a job as I would (what an egomanic!).

For example, there are multiple piles of DVDs and random items piled precariously upon the top of the TV cabinet. They have been there for months, when Gracie decided to open the drawers, remove all the DVDs, and use them as frisbies and coasters. Could I have delegated organizing these items to my husband, or nanny, or hired an organizer? Of course. But, no, I plan do it myself — which means that in the last few months it has not been done — and occasionally, a DVD box will topple off the side, almost taking out the cat. Why do I care about how it is done? Why not just do it now, or assign it out?

I am working on my perfectionism (isn’t admitting the problem the first step?) — now that I have Gracie, I really don’t want to give her a complex. Any more that I already will be, anyway.