ElizabethPW » crazy

I Am a Writer. So What.

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 21:26:13 +0000

I’ve written 22,000+ tweets. Hundreds of blog posts. Published a book.

There are 24 entries in my “blog post ideas” text file. A few one-liners, a few with a couple bullet points, and two that are brain dumps of half-formed paragraphs and unconnected ideas.

I spend a fair amount of my life in the creation of content. Whether it’s an adventure, a tragedy, a haunting idiosyncrasy or a moment of enlightenment … always thinking, would this make an interesting video, an epic blog post? Is this a chapter in my next book?

But I’m still surprised, confused, upset, intimidated, when someone calls me a writer.

I’m comfortable being called an attorney – I mean, I have a degree and a license and passed a test and have the certificate that says I earned that one.

I’m obviously a mom – gave birth, raising the kid, spending tons of time and energy full of guilt that I’m not doing the right thing. I’ve totally earned that one.

Sometime during the last 6 years I morphed into an entrepreneur. Not when I started my business … back then I was just an independent attorney/financial advisor … but over the last 6 years I embraced the crazy, risk-taking, addiction of the startup entrepreneur.

Back in November 2009 I became a blogger. After refusing to write a word for 6 months (well, except for a few thousand tweets), I came back from a live event and reported my truth. And burned some bridges. And dozens of people commented, emailed, @ replied, RT’d, DM’d me how my truth resonated with their truth. I was just the one who spoke the controversy they were thinking but not saying. And, as such, I became a blogger.

I’ll even let you call me a coach. That one took a while … because I’ve never taken a training program, or been certified, or had some entity or organization or person proclaim me an official coach. It wasn’t until I was paid specifically to coach clients, until I got those first emails “just one thing you said made me back the money for this entire coaching program” and “thank you so much for making everything clear” that I realized, I do it intuitively. There is something about who I am, what I bring with me when I walk into a room or get on the phone with a client, that brings caring and courage and clarity. I was born a coach.

The latest addition to my twitter bio is aspiring adventurer. This is the part of me that I forgot when I decided to grow up at age 25 and be who I was “supposed” to be, instead of what I thought was unrealistic and impossible. This is what my last 3 months have been about, remembering the crazy EPW, the one who wants to go past the warning signs and jump out of planes and live a life of ecstasy. Yes, at heart, I am an adventurer.

And then we come to that whole “writer” thing.

Augh.

I am sitting here in the cantina at Chevy’s, nursing a margarita to lubricate the writing of this post.

And I understand why so many writers become alcoholics.

Because unlike law, motherhood, blogging, coaching, adventuring …

Writing is an art.

It is fundamentally a creative, inspired endeavor.

There is no objectivity. There is no done. There is no decision.

There is no degree or test or certification or award that tells you when you are a writer.

It is something that just happens. Or something we are cursed. Or blessed. Or born to be.

Writing takes everything.

As an INFJ personality, my core, my truth is complicated and personal and protected. To reveal that on the page is incredibly intimate. And consuming. Like I’m possessed by an urge that’s both irresistible and abusive to my sanity.

And after the creation, I’m spent. Hungover. I need a nap or a drink or an intervention.

And then once the post goes live? Once I tweet it and post it to facebook and email it to my list?

Then comes the obsessive refreshing of the page to see if I have any comments. The checking my @ replies for retweets.

I usually have to turn off my internet (and I mean turn off the freaking router) and go to Starbucks or Target or watch a movie on iTunes to give people enough time to actually read the blog post and have a chance to comment, before I freak because no one has commented in the 30 seconds since the post went live.

When people say “I want to be a writer” I look at them, flabbergasted, as if they have said “I want to be a heroin addict” or something equally insane. I mean, who in the world would wish this on themselves? Who would wish this on anyone?

And then I look back on my life. A childhood of writing short stories and poetry and unfinished novels. The reading of thousands of books. Taking classes in creative writing where I felt that I failed because I got an A- instead of an A. Having everything I’ve ever submitted for publication to be accepted, in papers and magazines and newsletters and blogs and books, and yet never been paid for any of them.

I’ve been a writer my whole life.

But I never felt crowned a writer.

… 0f course, maybe all of this angst is total bullsh*t.

Maybe writing is not a terrible curse. Maybe it is not anything. Maybe this is just something that I am, something that I have to get over.

And maybe the process of getting over it is the painful part.

Once I get over it, accept it, embrace it … then it’s just something that’s a true fact. Part of me. Like having blond hair or speed reading or loving spicy food or understanding particle physics.

So that was my 2010 New Year’s Resolution. Not a goal, or a thing to quit.

My 2010 New Year’s Resolution was to get over the fact that I really am a writer.

And … isn’t it interesting how I phrased that?

“Get over the fact…” <– That’s not a decision. That’s a proposal to decide in the future. wtf.

So screw that resolution.

Let’s make a declaration right now.

I am a writer.

And that fact is not something that is terrible. That fact is not a curse.

It’s just a fact. A part of who I am. A thing that I do.

I’m not saying that I’m the most brilliant writer that ever lived, or that everyone is going to like how I write, or that I’m going to create powerful prose every day.

Writing is just one of the many ways in which I live my truth.

So the next time you see me lament on twitter about how hard it is to write, the next time you hear me whine about the last blog post … call me on that angst filled bullsh*t.

Writing is just one thing that I do.

#thatisall

—

Are you struggling with being a writer? Are you refusing to embrace a part of who you are? Are you manufacturing angst in your life by refusing to accept part of your calling?

I’d love to hear your feedback, thoughts, comments below!

Sorry, I’m Not Feeling Epic Today

Do You Want Every Day to be Epic?

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 02:15:23 +0000

Of course you do.

Join @ElizabethPW and @AllisonNazarian for the weekly twitter chat “Epic Adventures in Everyday Life” (#epicchat) on Wednesdays at 5:00 PM Pac / 8:00 PM EST

Join EPW (closer-to-the-edge girl) and ANaz (closer-to-home girl) as they explore:

How life doesn’t stop when you become a mom … it begins.
Why you need (at least) a bit of crazy and adventure in your life, even if you are not a risk-taker or adrenaline junkie.
How you don’t need to travel to India or jump out of a plane to transform your life.
How to marry the idea of crazy & fun & freedom into real, practical, day- to-day life.
Why it’s hard to bring adventure into your life in a vacuum, and how real and powerful friendships are your “key ingredient” for making life itself an adventure.
How to run your career/business, have a real life, go on adventures, and be a great mom … all at the same time … without being frozen by guilt or overwhelm.

Each week we will choose a different topic & invite special guests to share their awesometastic ideas & inspirational stories with you.

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein (aka @ElizabethPW, aka EPW) is a mom, entrepreneur, and crazy adventurer who feels more at home in airports, hotels, taxicabs, new friends’ homes or while tweeting up in bars, climbing a mountain or randomly walking around a city, than she does at the place where she keeps her stuff. She uses her travels as inspiration for her blog & videos, for coaching clients, and for creating new programs exploring how to Live Your Truth in business and life. If you want to follow her particular kind of insanity, check her on on twitter, facebook, or on her blog (EPW: of course you know about that, you’re on my blog right now. lol.).

Allison Nazarian (@AllisonNazarian) is a Mom, writer, empire-builder, author, former introvert, former control freak, future bookstore owner and current NFL junkie and Howard Stern fan who craves the comfyness, safety and familiarity of home while slowly but surely embracing the fun, flow and adventure of life on the edge. Allison writes copy, columns and blogs and teaches others how to do the same. Connect with Allison on twitter, Facebook or at AllisonNazarian.com.

Why I’m Letting Go of Things That Make Money

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 07:31:48 +0000

In the last 30 days, I decided to not relaunch The Money Tree System, to put my book Grow Up! Strategies on clearance, and to shut down TheWealthSpa.com.

These decisions seem completely unreasonable.

The program makes money. The book was already printed. The website got google organic traffic.

But sometimes the only way to move forward is to let things go.

Is there anything in your business that’s distracting you from what you really want to be doing?

What’s in your business that’s leftover from who you were yesterday?

What do you need to let go of so you can be 100% yourself?

Taking off My Spanx (How Letting Go of Perfection Will Set Me Free)

The Profoundness of a T-Shirt

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 02:40:53 +0000

Not sure exactly when it was, probably 10 or 12 years ago, when I stopped buying t-shirts.

Because grown-up professionals don’t wear t-shirts, right?

They wear sweaters and blouses and button downs. Jackets over cute tops with coordinating scarves and necklaces. Tailored pants. Heels.

And so I thought that was what I was “supposed” to do.

But then … I went to Austin.

So what are you wearing, what are you doing, because you are “supposed” to do that as a professional?

What of yourself did you give up to become a grown-up?

And … do you want it back?

No related posts.

The EPW Bucket List: Who Wants to Join Me?

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 00:42:52 +0000

What’s a bucket list?

A “bucket list” is everything you want to do before you “kick the bucket” — everything you want to do before you die.

The first time I made a bucket list was in my freshman year of high school.

It was 1989. Sitting in the back of an auditorium filled with 1600 honors students, while one of those Tony-Robbins-wanna-be hyped up motivational speakers yelled at us from the stage.

His big speech was trying to inspire a bunch of high school students to make a list of 100 goals for their lives:

“Studies show that only 4 of you in this room will actually do it, but making this list will change your life! Decide today to be one of the 4 people!”

So, I decided to be one of the 4 people.

And I made my first bucket list.

That original list has passed into history – maybe it’s in a box at my parent’s house, I’m looking for it the next time I’m in town – but I’ve kept that original list & all the additions in my head for the last 21 years, checking things off as I go.

Today is the first day I’ve shared them in public. And, the first day I’ve asked for help.

I’m posting my bucket list for you for three reasons:

to hold me accountable,
to see if you have resources to help make them happen, and
to see if any of you want to come along.

So, do you want to join me on an adventure? Look below, and take your pick.

The EPW Bucket List (in no particular order):

walk on the moon
see the sun rise over the earth from space
spacewalk
land a plane
ride in a fighter jet
skydive
skydive solo
learn to swim
learn to swim underwater
dive off a diving board
learn to scuba dive
finish an Ironman race
learn to salsa dance
learn to tango
learn to belly dance
learn to fence
chase an eclipse
explore the Galapagos Islands
explore Antarctica
explore New Zealand
explore Alaska
explore Japan
explore China
explore India
explore Morocco
ride a hot air balloon over the plains of Africa
hike across the Grand Canyon, rim to rim
hike the narrows in Zion Canyon
spend the night camping in Canyonlands
watch hot lava pouring from a volcano
climb a glacier
climb a tall famous mountain
learn to ski or snowboard
learn to speak a foreign language well enough to get along in that country
sing karaoke [to do 3/15/2010 at sxsw #techkaraoke]
learn to play the piano
learn to play the guitar
write a song (lyrics & music)
learn to horseback ride
drive a race car really fast on a race track
learn to ride a motorcycle
go into a random brick-n-mortar bookstore & see my book on sale
be on national TV
speak on a stage with 400+ in the audience
get paid thousands of dollars to speak to an audience
write a fantasy fiction novel
write a screenplay
make a music video
make a full-length movie
have a one-liner in a big-screen movie
have a TV show
host a live event
get a tattoo [DONE!! 2/11/2010 with Allison Nazarian]
play poker in a vegas casino
go to the airport & get on the next plane to where ever & go w/ the flow
go dog sledding

DONE! — Completed Bucket List Items):

Listed in order of completion, starting with bucket list stuff completed in the 4th grade.

learn to not-drown
get to go in the deep end of the pool
get a ribbon at the science fair
sing a solo in front of a crowd
write a poem
storyboard a music video
write a short story
learn a musical instrument
complete the high ropes course
orienteer through the woods without an adult
slow dance w/ a boy
dance in a musical
fly in a plane
go to space camp
successfully land a plane in a real fighter jet simulator
sing in the choir
water ski
take a public bus by myself
have sex
drive a car
learn to play tennis
backpack overnight & sleep under the stars
backpack & camp overnight alone
go rock climbing
go rappelling
be on the varsity team
place at a track meet
explore Hawaii
learn to play racketball
get drunk
go spelunking
teach a class
smoke pot
eat in a fancy restaurant & order a bottle of wine
move to California
fly in a private plane
live in my own apartment
fly first class
eat real sushi
gamble at a real casino
get a piercing
finish a marathon
buy a new car
take a train across the country
stay in a 5 star hotel
explore Australia
walk through a rain forest
see the great barrier reef
start my own business
have a client who pays me money
be featured in the newspaper
give birth
write & publish a book
be on TV
be on the radio
have a radio show
stand at the rim of an active volcano
buy one pair of really expensive shoes (6/5/2009)
throw a party & have people show up (first tweetup 10/14/2009)
catch a cab by myself in NYC (10/16/2009)
sing a song to other people (posted the video online 10/21/2009)
navigate the NYC subway as an adult (12/31/2009)
let another person control an adventure (1/8-1/10/2010 adventure w/ Ori)

What’s on your bucket list?

How to Incorporate Adventure into Ordinary Life

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 22:14:52 +0000

The top question I got from my adventure/crazy posts: Sake & Ziplines, Couches & Swords: What I Learned on #austinadventures w/ @CouchSurfingOri, The Real Reason I’m Moving to San Francisco (video), and Making the Commitment to Signposts & Sh*t Piles was …

yes, I love the idea of adventure, but I have kids, I don’t have the money to travel, I don’t have time to get out of town … how do I incorporate adventure & fun into my regular life?

And that’s the secret … adventure is not about travel. It’s not about big. It’s not about crazy. Adventure is a way of looking at the world, a way of living … even in your ordinary life.

So what out of your comfort zone, non-regular-person thing are you going to do today, to turn this day from ordinary into extraordinary?

The Real Reason I’m Moving to San Francisco

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 04:12:01 +0000

Yes, I was planning to move to San Diego. Yes, I’ve been talking about it since August. Yes, now I’m moving to San Francisco.

And yes, you are not the only person to wonder, what the heck is up w/ that?

Here’s the video to explain why ….

So what do you need to do to restructure your life & business so you can meet your goals & design your ideal lifestyle?

Do you need to move, change your business, modify relationships, get rid of your stuff, quit clubs, simplify your life?

Sake & Ziplines, Couches & Swords: What I Learned on #austinadventures w/ @CouchSurfingOri

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 10:06:52 +0000

I sat down to write this blog post about my adventures in Austin 4+ hours ago. But I did not even opened up a blank text document to get started until this moment.

Instead, I futzed around on twitter. Facebook. Skype. Checked my Google Analytics. Researched when Lilith Fair will be touring this summer.

And then randomly decided I needed to memorize the lyrics to Indigo Girls “Closer to Fine” … thinking I was just procrastinating working on this blog post.

Ah, but the flow knew better. I couldn’t write this blog post because I didn’t have the hook I needed. The story or theme that tied the entire weekend together for me. And as I listened to this song, over and over again, I found the soundtrack to my take-away’s.

So now that I got that over with, let’s get started on the adventures in Austin.

Why Austin?

Back on November 6, 2009 (5 months from 6/6/09) I sent out this tweet from my hotel room in Las Vegas:

Ori Bengal (http://CouchSurfingOri.com) describes himself an adventurer, among other things. And he seriously is an adventurer. For the last 3 years he has been couchsurfing (as in, crashing on people’s couches/guest rooms all over North America) in pursuit of adrenaline rush, unique & weird experiences, and fascinating new people.

And when I first read his blog after meeting him in June at Scott Stratten’s tweetup, all I could think was:

wow, I wish I could lead a life like that.

And then on November 6th I was sitting in a hotel room in Vegas trying to think of what would be the most scary, pushing my comfort zone, personal growth thing I could do in the next year.

And it wasn’t about the jumping out of a plane or karaoke or any risky or embarrassing activity that I could come up with …

… it was going on an adventure spawned from another person’s mind.

Giving up control – that would push my comfort zone more than any experience I could design for myself.

So I threw that tweet out to Ori to see if he’d be interested in taking me up on this venture. And he was.

At first it was just a vague inclination for us to adventure in 2010 once I moved to San Diego, but after a bunch of late night skype conversations reminding me of all of the crazy stuff I used to do, I was done waiting. So I asked him if I could come out to Austin asap for our adventure.

And on January 8th I flew from San Jose to Austin for 51 hours of adventuring in Austin with @CouchSurfingOri.

Pushing My Comfort Zone

“The best thing you’ve ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously, it’s only life after all”

Dude. I had just agreed to fly 1/2 way across the country to hang out with some guy I knew from the freaking internet!

wtf epw?!?

Yes, by that time we had become virtual BFFs via twitter/facebook/skype/txt/email/phone, and my BFF Allison Nazarian knew Ori in real life from before twitter’s existence, and we had met once in person, but still. I was flying across the country to spend the weekend with a crazy adventurer guy. omg.

That was the most profound “pushing my comfort zone” thing of all – going on this adventure in the first place.

Sending that tweet. Asking to come. Getting on the plane.

The interesting thing is that each step felt totally sane and like myself.

That real part of myself that I am, when I forget to think about what’s reasonable. When I’m just existing in the moment and acting from inspiration and passion and truth.

And existing, in the moment, is the one place where I’m able to push my comfort zone. To fully experience being alive.

To fully experience being my real self.

Whether that’s drinking Sake for the first time at our friday night tweetup, flying 30 miles an hour across a gorge while suspended on a metal wire, or slipping t-shirts over my head for the first time in years.

It’s about putting aside that terribly practical ideal woman in my head who wants to keep me safe, conforming to a reasonable standard, sanitized from anything profound or sexy or real.

On his radio show on Monday talking about our adventure, Ori asked me whether I was an adrenaline junkie. I’m not. It’s not about the adrenaline.

I’m a personal development junkie.

And I mean that. I’m a junkie. I need it. Desperately. I need pushing myself to the brink of painful uncomfortableness to find that edge where I let go of the veneer of bullshit and start feeling.

Start living. As me.

Facing the Fear of Doing It Wrong

“I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it, I’m crawling on your shores.”

As we climbed the hill to the start of the zipline adventure, one of the instructors hiked up next to me: “You’re going to be fine.”

He told me how safe the ziplines were, how it supported tens of thousands of pounds, how he had been involved in its construction, how I wasn’t going to get hurt, etc. etc.

But I wasn’t worried about plummeting to the earth or breaking my fingers under the wheels or getting my long hair caught in the mechanism.

I was worried about doing it wrong.

How many things in life – speaking on a big stage, going on a first date, driving a stick shift – how many things was I avoiding – not because I was afraid of heckles or rejection or death – but because I was afraid that I would do it the wrong way.

That I would fail at the procedure of the experience.

Major wtf.

So the assignment I made to myself on the journey home from Austin was to search for non-passive physical experiences that required learning a skill. Where there was a real possibility of messing up the procedure.

Driving a motorcycle. Scuba diving. Taking an art class. Learning to fence. Ballroom dancing. Shooting a handgun.

And force myself to regularly face that fear I would totally suck at the skill.

And just do it anyway.

Trusting in Someone Besides Myself

“The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.”

As we drove back from the zipline, through the small town of Wimberley, Ori says: “See that horse? That would make a good picture, you on that horse.”

A few minutes later I was 6 feet up on a display fake horse in front of a roadside collectable shop.

“Put your arm up like you are waving a cowboy hat. Now yell. Make some noise.”

Are you freaking kidding me?

And that was just the start. A photo shoot with Ori had me wearing a fuzzy hat and a viking helmet, swinging a real sword, posing with a red swiffer mop and two bottles of Tito’s vodka, skateboarding down a subdivision street, holding wine and a beer stein filled with cranberry juice as disembodied arms surround me with pots.

All while laughing to Ori’s jokes. Or the ridiculousness of what he was asking me to do. Or trying to make the expression of how I would look if my daughter walked into the room holding a, well, use your imagination.

Any of you who read my stuff know how often I talk about flow. Trusting in the serendipity of the universe to let the day unfold in a way more magical than anything you could think your way into.

And that is the way to find the Nutty Brown Cafe & Amphitheater, to get the best falafel in New York City, to help your friend get a tattoo in Las Vegas.

But the next level is to give over control not to the universe, but to another person.

To trust that I’ll have a great couch to sleep on, that we will eventually find the sushi place, that I’ll look like my true self in the final photography (click for entire photo set from Ori).

Of course, I can’t just trust anyone with myself. Selecting people to trust (especially for an INFJ like me) must be studied and researched and intuitive.

But there is a certain point where I have to just let go.

Join in the magic of another person, of how that person sees my truth, of what should be done to free me to be myself …

… and see where that adventure takes us.

And Now Back to Reality … Or Not.

As soon as Ori dropped me off at the Austin airport on Sunday I started to feel post-travel blues set in. The slide back into normalcy. Ordinary. The mediocrity of regular life.

And as much as I wanted to go home and see my kid, I also wanted to stay in Austin. Or get on the next plane to anywhere. Or take off for another adventure.

But here’s the thing … why does it have to be one or the other?

Why should life be either home or travel? Ordinary or adventure?

So instead, I came back to San Jose and chose to live my life as if it was not ordinary. As if this wasn’t home.

Act here as I would if I was just passing through.

Yes, of course I have a kid here. And work to get done. And a house to clean up and sell. And an apartment to find. And all the details and to-do’s of life.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t plan tweetups. Keep my eye out for amazing people. Look for interesting opportunities.

Live with a mindset of adventure.

Even here, in my “ordinary” life.

—

If you want to hear more of the story of these adventures check out Ori’s interview of me on the CouchSurfingOri Radio Show.

Full Disclosure: This blog post and Ori’s radio show do not contain the whole story of the adventures that took place in Austin. Because, alas, some things are just not bloggable. I may put them in the Live Your Truth book. And the blog-transparency vs book-transparency vs what-stays-offline debate, that is a story for another blog post.

When was your last adventure? Have you explored your own town for the experiences it has to offer? What are you going to do to get beyond your comfort zone?

Why I’m Not Setting Goals or Picking Words for 2010

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 02:24:14 +0000

(This post is the lame post that I didn’t publish a few days ago. But, now I’m thinking maybe it really wasn’t lame. Either way, following the assignments of my amazing commenters, here you go. If you like it, good. If not, I warned you.)

Here’s the process taught by Pax Programs to find your four words of feminine power:

(go here for a word list to use in this exercise)

—

It’s 2010 and so now we have to do our “setting goals” or “picking our 3 words for the year” post.

Meh.

Setting goals and picking three theme words for the year may work for some people. It’s really common in the coaching & blogging & business worlds. If theme words and goals work for you, party on.

But thinking my way into what my year should be about — that does not work for me.

The power, the magic, the serendipity of my life is more complicated and amazing than anything my tiny little brain could think up. And anything I would think my way into would be smaller than what will naturally unfold, if I trust myself and take massive action as inspired along the way.

But I don’t proceed themeless. Without any words or mission or principles to direct my life.

The opposite, in fact.

I’ve recently become aware of the four words that describe who I am.

These words are not just my themes for my year. These four words are the themes for my entire life.

Why clients pay me money. How I help & lead my tribe. Where all my success and enjoyment comes from. What friends get from me.

The reason I am on this earth.

You see, last year, when I was studying why men are awesome & was on a journey to embrace my own femininity, I discovered a series of seminars from PAX Communications. The last such seminar I went to, nicknamed the “Queen Workshop,” explored, among other things, where the power of a woman comes from.

To understand, first we need to look at the opposite, masculine power. Masculine power comes from doing, single focus, applying force, making things happen.

(And, there is nothing wrong with that. Masculine power is awesome and one of the reasons men are so yummy. But while women can get results from masculine power, it drains us of energy & is not what makes us magical.)

Feminine power comes from who a woman is being in the moment.

Feminine power is what a woman brings with her when she simply walks into a room.

Each woman brings with her qualities that only she possesses in a particular unique combination. That’s what makes her magical. Inspirational. Fascinating. Irresistible.

I don’t mean this in some magical fairy law of attraction kind of way. And I don’t mean that women are not doing work or that action isn’t required (obviously). Or that we can’t focus, or that some women get results from their masculine power instead of feminine power.

What I mean is that when I finally became aware of how I change people when I walk into a room, I finally understood why clients pay me for what seems effortless. Why some marketing campaigns work for me and others don’t. Why people comment on certain blog posts but not others. Why some people want to be my friend, and others don’t resonate with me. Why I can get tired after 20 minutes of doing one thing — but can work for 6 hours straight on another project yet finish feeling energized.

And, more importantly, what I am called to bring to everyone in my corner of the world.

And you know what the somewhat weird thing is? Many of you have independently used these particular words (or various derivations thereof) to describe me — when you say what you get from reading my blog posts, or from a coaching session with me. So this is not just a mambsy-pambsy seminar thing … my four qualities have been confirmed by independent sources (aka, you guys).

So now after that huge amount of wind up, here you go …

ElizabethPW’s Qualities (or, the themes for EPW’s life):

1. Love

The world “love” in the English language is such a ridiculous oversimplification.

Here I don’t mean just romantic love, or the “I love you’s” that family & friends say to each other. Or even loving yourself (the greatest love of all? oh, gaud, let’s not go there.).

I mean really seeing another person. Their soul. Who they really are. Not their “potential” — what makes them amazing, right now, in this moment.

Allison Nazarian, Sarah Robinson, and I have developed a friendship via twitter (and now, skype/email/texting/facebook/in real life) that has gotten some attention. So many women have contacted us to say that they wished they had a friendship like this. That we are example of what friendship between women can be.

That’s amazing. And terribly sad.

I remember what it was like before 2009. When I really didn’t talk to anyone (and I mean really talk). When no one knew that my marriage was falling apart or how my business was screwed up. When I had no one to confess my insanity to on a daily basis.

It seems like a different life.

My great hope is for all of us to have friendship and love like that.

To all to feel that we are truly seen. Cared about. Heard. Appreciated. Supported unconditionally. Never alone.

If everyone felt that … I don’t know what amazingness would be possible. Would people really need to compete over resources? Hurt each other? Fight wars? Would the problems of the earth all become solvable if each person felt truly cared for?

2. Ecstasy

Here’s where it really gets yummy.

Ecstasy is the joy of being in the present moment.

It is fully experiencing the deliciousness of the world and everyone we encounter, as it naturally unfolds in front of us.

In New York City last week, Allison Nazarian and I were randomly wandering around downtown looking for falafel (I had never eaten it. Oh, and I had no idea what it was made of except that it’s vegetarian.). We saw a few falafel places as we walked around but were just not feeling them.

Until we saw Mamoun’s Falafel Restaurant, a little hole in the wall place in the village. And, for some reason, we knew that was our place.

Not only was their food absolutely amazing (and I am totally in love with falafel), it’s listed as of the 1000 Places to See Before You Die & is apparently one of the best falafel places in the city. And we found it by simply following the flow.

Life organically happens in an amazing way that is more than you could ever think or plan your way into.

When we let go, follow the flow, engage with people, embrace ecstasy as it happens … that is when live becomes full of excitement. Fun. Joy.

That is when we are successful.

That is when we are rich.

Yum!

3. Courage

When I talk about living your truth, doing crazy sh*t so other people are inspired to do their crazy sh*t, getting okay with being uncomfortable every day, what I’m really taking about is courage.

Courage is taking action when you have fear. When you are uncomfortable.

In my Senior year of college we had a professor for our Environmental Chemistry class who was totally incompetent. And mean. And a real crazy person. I’m serious here … she was a travesty of the profession and should have been immediately fired.

But she wasn’t because the school did not want to get sued.

So instead of sitting around complaining to my classmates, I wrote a manifesto to the editor of the paper signed by every student in the class (that’s what we did before blogs!), met twice with the Dean of Academics (who looked very nervous to see me), and got the necessary paperwork filed to bring her up before a committee of her peers to review her violation of the competency provisions of her contract.

From that hearing, every student’s grades in her class was raised two letter grades (I went from a C+ to an A-). And, she was fired.

One of the reasons I was put on this earth is to speak the things that everyone thinks and no one says.

People speak to me their unspeakable things. I can almost hear what the collective consciousness of a crowd is thinking & not saying when I walk into a room.

And unlike everyone else, for some bizarre reason I’m the one who raises her hand to ask the question. Writes the blog post. Sends out the tweet. Schedules the meeting. Makes the call.

And yes, every time I do this, it still makes me ill. I still can’t eat, have digestive problems, my face breaks out, can’t sleep for days, want to run from the room and hide the bathroom.

The only difference between me and most people, is that for some reason, I speak the truth anyway.

(And most of the time I wish this wasn’t true, that I could be a normal person, damnit. But I’m getting over that.)

4. Enlightenment

Now here I am not talking about Zen or whatever. Cause I don’t do Yoga or go to India or teach feng shui or do any woo woo stuff.

I’m talking about the magical moment when the complex sudden becomes simple.

Back in my sophomore year of college, I studied 14 hours in 1 1/2 days to memorize all the mechanisms for the alkene exam (Organic Chemistry). It was so forced. Painful. I spent the entire time in the chalk room of the Olin library writing and rewriting the mechanisms, over and over, until they were drilled into my brain.

But sometime during that marathon I had my moment. From then on I did not have to memorize mechanisms. I could intuit them. I had figured out the general principles of how molecules enjoyed hanging out with each other, and could just b.s. my way into getting a 94% on the exams. (Side note: from that day on I was bored with Chemistry. Hence why I did not get my PhD.)

When we learn anything – internet marketing, organic chemistry, time management, cooking, guitar, twitter, quantum mechanics, the inner workings of a new friend, why a marriage failed – in the beginning it seems infinitely complex. Without a system or pattern. Hard, tedious, illogical.

And then, after hours, months, or years of studying & practice, there is a precise moment when it clicks.

Where the illusion of complexity falls away and the pattern emerges from the chaos.

And yes, even after that moment, there is work, study, practice involved.

But after that moment you are fundamentally altered.

You can never go back, because from that moment, in some small way, you are a different person. Your outlook and understanding of the universe has changed.

And that moment of enlightenment is one of the most sexy things that human beings experience.

–

So I invite you to think about not just what you are doing to do this year, but also who you are going to be.

Wait a minute. That’s not it.

I don’t mean who you are going to be, but who you are, already, in this moment.

And instead of worrying about what you should do or make happen this year, embrace who you are … and take massive inspired action from that place.

Because the magic, the serendipity, the power all comes from who you already are.

The Truth About Vegas, or What I Did in 2009

The Truth About Vegas, or What I Did in 2009

Elizabeth Potts Weinstein — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 01:47:24 +0000

I woke, sat straight up in bed, in tears, knowing in my bones that this was the moment.

And I thought: “oh, fuck it.”

The moment was at 5:30 AM in a hotel room in Caesar’s Palace on Saturday, June 6, 2009.

I came to Las Vegas for a big “find your life purpose” event to connect with people. Thinking, I already *know* my life purpose (ha!), but I’m sure to learn something from being around all those people trying to figure out their lives.

I was also going to Scott Stratten’s Monster Vegas Tweetup that Saturday night. Back then I never would have flown into Vegas just for a tweetup (wow, how times have changed!) but since I was in town anyway, it made sense to also take those social media relationships to the next level.

So I was in Vegas for the networking.

Or so I thought.

But wait a minute. Before I can tell you the rest of the story of Vegas, you need to understand where I had already been.

About 6 years prior, I quit the last job I will ever have (an attorney in Big Law) to start a financial & estate planning business.

I had some success from marketing with google adwords and a write up in the local paper (hey, it was 2004, that stuff still worked!).

Got married. Had a baby.

Got bored.

Discovered coaching and personal development and The Secret. Discovered internet marketing and information products and seminars. Spent tens of thousands of dollars learning everything there was to learn, every bright shiny object and magic pill and system and secret and mastermind that was going to revolutionize my business. And my life.

But (as you can guess), nothing worked.

Then in April 2008 I made the first real decisions.

To stop waiting for life to start. To pull Gracie out of preschool. To close my financial & estate planning practice to do something else. To travel. To be sexy just as I am.

And those decisions got results. I lost 35 pounds. Reconnected with my daughter. Launched a new website. Did some live speaking gigs. Had some fun.

But the whole thing wasn’t clicking.

No matter how hard I worked, no matter how many information products and programs and events and masterminds and coaches and books and social networks I read/did/hired/saw … my business was falling apart.

Making less money that it had ever made. Nothing I launched really sold. Even though I followed all the systems, wrote the copy just as they said, nothing made me profitable. Total #businessfail

And, my marriage was falling apart.

Or, I should say, my marriage had fallen apart.

I faced the truth on the day in April 2009 when my 4 year old daughter said: “Mommy, I don’t think Daddy loves you anymore.”

And I burst into tears. Because I knew she was right.

Spent the next 2 days crying (yes, mortifyingly, in front of my daughter). Not because he didn’t love me or because I didn’t love him. That was obvious. And had happened years before, involving unresolvable dealbreakers on both sides.

But because for the first time in years I imagined being alone.

Having to get an apartment. Pay for all my own stuff. Solve all my own problems. Figure out who I was without reference to another person.

I was seriously afraid I would be homeless or have to move in with my parents or, worst case, have to shut down my business & go get a job.

So I spent the next 2 months trying. Being super nice & supportive & helpful. Planning date nights. Strategizing seductions. All to nothing. Total and complete #marriagefail

And then I went to Vegas.

As I’ve said before, something happens to me in Vegas. The state of that city, of the people living in an alternative reality on the strip, is indescribable. I’m out of my normal routine. Every person, object, energy is different. Jarring.

Vegas stirs me up.

For 2 days in that room of people figuring out their Life Purpose, I heard over and over again that you have to “step into” your purpose. You have to made the decision.

And I thought, “god damnit, didn’t I already do this? I spent money! I invested in myself! I made decisions, didn’t I?”

But no, I hadn’t. Or, I hadn’t make the decisions that were important to my journey.

Because the decisions were not about spending the money.

The decisions were about what I was willing to do.

Who I was willing to be. What I was willing to risk.

For those 3 days I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I was barely able to have functional networking conversations and kept retreating to hide in my hotel room.

Because I knew.

I knew that this was it. I was either going to make the big choice, or chicken out. Maybe forever.

And then on Saturday morning I woke up at 5:30 am and sat straight up in and declared aloud to the universe and my empty hotel room my three decisions:

1 – I was going to be okay if I got divorced.

I had to trust myself. I faintly remembered that I was someone before I got married. I decided that I would be capable of paying the bills and handing my life, alone. Or, I had to find out if I was capable. And the only way to find out, was to do it.

2 – I was willing to be uncomfortable.

To take the action in my business, and life, that made me nervous. Scared. Out of my element. Make the phone calls to fancy people. Be a coach even though I never went to coaching school. Say what everyone was thinking and no one was saying. And not just once … that I was willing to be uncomfortable every day. Make “being uncomfortable” a way of life.

3 – I would step forward as a leader.

Stop waiting for someone to tell me what to do, what action to take, how to make it work. Stop looking for mentors and guru’s to follow. Stop waiting for magical fairies to come down and give me a degree in blogging or living life. Take a stand for my community. Step forward to fill the void.

And then I left that hotel room, forever shifted.

Ended up at the tweetup that night. For those who already had met me in person, they said I was funny. Relaxed. A different person.

But I wasn’t a different person. For the first time in almost 10 years, I was myself.

More happened that night in Vegas. Met amazing people who later became some of the best, most real friends I have ever had. Drank an uncountable number of margaritas. Recorded epic video interviews. Dirty danced on the dance floor of The Bank. Walked barefoot through the Bellagio.

But it was that 5:30 AM moment that changed my entire life.

So in this “what I did in 2009″ post I could also tell you all about all of the other awesomenesses of my year.

Reinventing my entire business. Launching Tell Me More and The Live Your Truth Project and 6 Weeks to Live Your Truth Program and 4 Weeks to Video. Getting divorced. Posting insanely brave video blogs. Deciding I must be open to falling in love again. Going with the flow. Appreciating men. Going to Vegas (again, and again) and New York City. Hosting my first (and second) tweetup. Burning bridges. Embracing my femininity. Planning a New Year’s Eve trip to NYC. Getting more than 100 comments on a blog post. Deciding to move to San Diego. Deciding to be crazy. Planning for an adventure in Austin. Deciding to move to San Francisco. Taking care of my daughter in the hospital for 10 days. Deciding to be 100% myself, 100% of the time.

But all those amazing things came from that one moment.

And that is life. Everything you are today, every terribleness and amazingness and profoundness that you are today, comes from one moment.

One choice.

Yes. No. Today. Never again. Fuck it.

So what did you do in 2009?

When was your moment? What decision did you make? Who did you decide to be?

(psst … it’s not too late. it’s never too late. you can still make your choice. you can still decide who to be. today.)