So how did I get from a 12 year old girl who wanted to be a physicist, to the women with the Live Your Truth tattoo on the inside of my wrist?
As some of you know, I could tell stories for hours, and while a few of you may find that entertaining, a neverending story might be okay for an autobiography but just aint going to work for a series of blog posts.
But here’s the thing – the important story is not my entire journey. That’s not really how I got from there to here.
Life comes down to just a few moments in time.
A few particular milliseconds where I came to a profound realization about life or myself or how the world really works. Where I did something scary. Where I made a choice.
And that is life. Everything of who we are, what we are doing with our lives, who we love and hate and cherish … it all comes down to a very few particular moments in time, where we made a decision on which path to choose.
And on that note, here are some of mine.
#1 – I Can’t Live With Inconclusive.
During the summer between Sophomore and Junior years in college, I conducted a environmental chemistry research project funded by NSF and Monsanto on how pollutants bond to coal filters. Spent 10 weeks running experiments, hours stuck in the university basement with the NMR to test how the molecules were bonded to each other, making graphs and analyzing data.
And what was the result?
Inconclusive.
After 10 weeks of my life, the data said nothing.
We didn’t know if the bonding was tight or not, if there was a flaw in the experiment or the testing or the analysis. And my supervising professor wasn’t upset or surprised. He expected it. He’s been working on other aspects of the larger project for years. For more than a decade.
And that’s when I realized I couldn’t take it.
The average PhD in Chemistry takes 7 years. I would be 30 before I’d even start my post-doc work, even more time before I’d get a tenure track position at a university.
And as much as I loved teaching in the organic chemistry labs, as much as I had thought of myself as a scientist and professor for my entire life – wanting to be a physicist when I was a little girl, inventing my own science projects as a kid, reading theoretical physics books from the adult section of the library for fun, my favorite teachers always were in science and chemistry and math, triple majoring in Chemistry / Biology / Environmental Studies at college – this was not what I was meant to do.
The traditional “get a PhD & be a professor” route was not for me.
And soon after that I got the idea for law school (but that’s another story).
#2 – I Can’t Watch People Get Screwed.
Before the class even started, I heard the horror stories about the capriciousness of this new professor. And after a few weeks in Environmental Chemistry class my senior year, I was mortified that someone this incompetent could teach at my university.
The other professors, including the head of the department, sympathized but didn’t think anything could be done, since the professor had a 2 year contract. But unlike the rest of the students who just sat around the coffee house complaining, I decided to do something about it.
I was not going to let me and my fellow students get screwed.
So I scheduled a meeting with the Dean of Academics to discuss the problem professor.
He listened to my complaints and told me in confidence that the school’s attorneys didn’t think they could get rid of her since she had a contract. At that, one eyebrow went up on my face. Because there’s always a way to get out of a contract – especially if the other side breaches the contract first.
As I looked around his office for inspiration, I saw a copy of the employee handbook for professors on the Dean’s table and asked if I could borrow it.
The Dean got this freaked out look on his face, not knowing what I had in mind but also not having a reason to say no – and let me borrow the handbook.
And with that I had the information I needed to use the system.
I wrote a letter to the editor of the newspaper listing the grievances of the students in the class (the letter was modeled after Luther’s 95 Theses), signed by every student in the class. The paper had its biggest distribution ever. Huge buzz on campus, including multiple people asking us to retract. We retracted nothing. It was the truth.
And I started the process for a formal hearing to review her work, under the terms of her contract & the professor/employee handbook. That hearing resulted in the grades of everyone in the class being changed two letter grades higher (my grade went from C to A-) and her being fired.
After that extravaganza, I was sitting in the Chemistry department chatting with three of my professors. And, to my surprise, they all agreed – none of them would have thought of it. Meeting with the Dean, the letter to the paper to alert the entire campus (and alumna & the trustees) of the situation, challenging her competency under the rarely-used official process – none of them had known a way to get rid of her.
And that’s when I realized that most people just go along with what they are told.
They suffer silently. They watch while people get screwed, and just think that nothing can be done.
But for some reason, I can’t do that. I’m different.
If I see people who I consider my responsibility getting screwed, I’m going to find a way to do something about it. Even though that makes my life complicated and stressful and never easy. I can’t help myself.
BTW, I consider that my first successful lawsuit. And, one of my most important. Even though I was not yet a lawyer.
(Part 2 coming soon)
Thanks to Chris Guillebeau for asking me my story over coffee at SXSW and telling me that I needed to share that story with you. Chris, you rock.
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I'm Elizabeth Potts Weinstein, a writer, teacher, and coach.