I’m Not Sorry About Selling.

Posted on 30. Jan, 2010 by Elizabeth Potts Weinstein in Blog

I was going to write a blog post about my last relaunch (for 4 Weeks to Video).

How unlike every launch I have ever done, for the very first time, I met my membership goals. Actually, I surpassed my goals.

I was going to share the strategies I used in creating buzz, crafting the offer, the timing, the freebies. How I put the opt-in and the sales page on the same page, even when the program wasn’t open. The beta test. The limited time lower price. What went in the emails and the ustream classes. Those last few email blasts and tweets.

And how I was going to use these tactics on my next relaunch (for 6 Weeks to Live Your Truth).

Then I realized I couldn’t.

I couldn’t use these tactics because I backed myself into a corner in The Live Your Truth Project.

And I couldn’t write the blog post because the launch didn’t work because of tactics. It worked because of something else.

Here’s my truth.

For a long time, I was taught the nasty sales strategies of never taking no for an answer. Pushing. Closing.

I had upsells. Annoying popups. Big red headlines. Results based testimonials. Automatic recurring charges. Tricky subjects in the email blasts. Hype.

I scared the crap out of you. Told you that if you didn’t buy this, it would ruin your life. You would fail.

If you didn’t buy this, you were wasting your time. You would be a fool.

Then … I got religion about this selling stuff thing.

Selling is bad. Taking advantage of people. Short-sighted. Old fashioned.

Thank god, because I hated selling. Ick.

Now it’s about …

“Sharing Amazing Content!”

and

“Building the !”

That’s the big movement, the big shift that’s happening in our industries, in social media, in business. Right?

Yes. No. Well, not exactly.

By themselves, sharing content and building relationships are just more pillars to hide behind.

Another way to keep us from fully realizing our brilliance. Another oversimplification distracting from why were are really here.

Dude. This is not a freaking nonprofit.

If I can’t make money, I can’t do this anymore.

As much as I would love to live off of blog comments and emails and @replies, …. well, you get the point.

And there is nothing wrong with that. Actually, it’s a good thing.

The Work that we are doing here is not about one extreme or the other.

It’s about balance. The third tribe. Finding a way to create something amazing and change people’s lives while building a real business.

It’s about . Being completely honest that the reason I’m giving away all this content is so you can try it out to see if you want to buy the thing.

It’s about caring. I want you to succeed. I want you to learn this stuff.

If you have this problem, if you resonate with me, if you know this is the right solution for you, then damnit, buy this!

And, if you don’t have this problem right now, if you’re not quite sure about me, if you don’t feel in your gut that this is right for you … then damnit, don’t buy it.

That’s why the 4 Weeks to Video launch worked. Not because of how I did it. Not the steps. Not the tactics. Those were all just natural expressions that flowed from the real reason this launch worked.

The launch worked because I cared. But I didn’t just care about you. I also cared about me.

I cared about me being compensated for the work I do, for my expertise, for my brilliance, for what I love to create.

I cared about making money to pay the rent. I cared about being able to eat. I cared about being able to pay for the stuff my kid needs.

I cared about going on crazy new adventures and traveling to hang out with my best friends.

So I’m ripping apart the launch plan for 6 Weeks to Live Your Truth.

I’m making every , writing every piece of copy, making every video, scheduling every ustream … from that place.

From the place of caring about you. And the place of caring about me.

I’ll let you know how that works out.

–

I teach that we should always put a call to action at the end of every blog post to get people to comment on the post. Asking a specific question, what you think about xyz, what was your experience with this situation, whatever.

I don’t know what to ask you today.

So, if you like, please answer the question you wished I had asked.

I really love reading your comments and want to hear from you.

#thatisall

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  • Caring about you and caring about me.

    #thisisworthabunchofmoneytome

    (Oh - is this not Twitter?)
  • In order for any business to work, there has to be a reciprocity. Sometimes we get caught up in the give and forget to get. Sometimes, particularly in internet marketing circles, it becomes more about the get than the give.

    Your epiphany stems from something I call "mutual admiration". The idea that it's okay to give a rip about your clients AND make a profit, without being salesy, cheesy, or snotty. That people, at their core, are inherently good, and we all want to believe in the notion that a rising tide lifts all ships.

    I mean, if we're TRULY building a business that we love, that serves our perfect-fit customers, then, by golly, shouldn't we be using marketing and serving our customers in the way that matches the culture we're trying to create in our business? It should work, right?

    Yes. It does. It's fear and the myths of all those that came before us that lead us to believe otherwise.

    Screw that.

    Thanks for raising the tide in your end of the pool.
  • Man! That was a really powerful post. One that spoke to me. You're so right. I look forward as always to see your evolution and to try some of those strategies in my own biz. Also, on a side note - will you keep the name Potts-Weinstein?
  • Yes, I'm keeping Potts Weinstein b/c it's my name & I don't have any marriage connotations w/ it ... lots of value in my biz / social media. And besides, when you google it, it comes up w/ me. ;)
  • ypadgett
    I think your "secret" with this launch was that you were launching something that you've become known for and you look like you enjoy the videos and they are effective for you, so others want a piece of that action. So I think you were "selling" the thing that many of them are primed to want to know more about and you are a great resource for that! They want what you got :)

    So I'm kind of off the opinion that to the people who wanted to know about videos and how to make them, you couldn't have said anything wrong in your copy and to those who are not interested in videos, you couldn't have said anything in your copy that got them to purchase. You have collected a video loving audience, so that's why this shift in your business is perfect.
  • Because you DO care!! - THAT is what made being in the 6 Weeks to Live Your Truth Project so awesomely amazing for me. You LISTENED and asked me the HARD questions that needed to be asked which made the journey so worth it.

    And the answer is Venti Skinny Caramel Macchiato!
  • Thanks so much Jacqui, it was such an honor working w/ you, and I'm so glad you appreciated me asking the hard questions. :)
  • jackhatfield
    Elizabeth, Susie Shina turned me onto you. I hope she tells you about me as well. Together, Susie and I are launching something to get people working because I care as you do.

    http://www.naturalsuccessprinciples.com/affiliate

    tells of our struggles going to these things, listening to the hard sells, soft sells, words, promises, and leaving empty handed. I set out now to change a generation. I am not here to sell you or anyone anything. I only want to be a catalyst in their dreams. I want to make people understand that they have the power inside them.

    So we are with you on this journey.
  • lindaeaves
    Like I tweeted earlier - The more I learn the more I realize how much I don't know.
    Right now I just float through and listen to who I resonate with. Trusting that the right things will come my way. The world is still flat but its becoming more round. The difference is that I'm not so nervous about the "not knowing".
  • And that's so huge, trusting that the right things will come your way. The secret is, as long as I'm paying attention, really in the moment ... then I do see the right things as they appear. :)
  • katcaverly
    Finally the truth "But I didn’t just care about you. I also cared about me." Brava!
  • I had a similar insight about changing the tone and feeling of my marketing this fall, after a launch that fell flat. I just got tired of doing marketing that felt like pushing and where I felt like I had to be something I wasn't to poke and prod people into action. Bleah.

    Now, my rule of thumb is to only do marketing efforts that feels good to me, that I enjoy for their own sake, and that puts me into the space of not caring so much how many sales a particular effort makes because I am having fun.

    I think this more personal relationship-oriented selling to a larger audience is the wave of the future. I can hear the difference now in emails and on teleseminars. I can feel when someone is yanking my chain to get the sale, and when they are courageously putting themselves out there.
  • Yes, and people are so much more sensitive to that now, maybe we are all become more sophisticated, maybe it's because of the internet & the wide availability of information ... but the push just doesn't work. We can sense it coming now.
  • elizabeth (successservis)
    I have been doing this social networking thing for several months and I've been trained to not 'sell' anything on any of my posts and blogs. I've also been taught to only promote and support others. Period. I get the relationship building that happens and I really appreciate that part of it... but when do I get to tell you what I do and what I have to offer you? For example I was the one who suggested the Xango products for your daughter's burns and when I hadn't heard back from you I felt like I had made a party foul (then I got your response and felt better, thanks!) I'd love to know what your experience has been.
  • Elizabeth - that's exactly my point. I suggest that it's not that you *can't* sell anything, it's all in the way you do it, coming from a place of sharing instead of pushing, in not "selling" until there's a relationship.

    I also suggest that for products, it may be great to share information and resources (a blog post, videos) surrounding the same topic as the product, to build a relationship with people who are likely to be a target customer ... or who may be potential J/V partners once they get to know you & your info.

    And, for someone like me who gets a ton of emails/DMs/@'s, etc., when I don't reply sometimes it's just because I'm overwhelmed! :)
  • I totally love that a small band of folks (you included!!) are finally getting to realise that an authentic business is ALL about the Relationship - not the latest turnkey whatever, or techie gismo!! Consumers (and we're all one of those) are getting so turned off by traditional hardsell on the net, that personality led businesses, if they are from a genuine place of contribution to others, stand out like a beacon :-)
    And yes, before you think I'm all woo-woo, we absolutely do need to be financially rewarded for that! It's finding the balance, and knowing that what we offer is genuinely what someone wants!
    Fab post :-)
  • It's always so interesting to see peoples beliefs around selling when we're all clearly selling all the time. The couple that is married have been selling each other everyday (hopefully) on why they are together. Hell we even sell people on why we're not a sales person. Yeah that's called selling. Selling is nothing more than a transference of belief. That's it.

    You clearly sold me on the fact that you believe in what your doing and more so believe in why you're doing it. The how to's are important but if it was just about the how to's we'd all be skinny rich and happy. Clearly it's the why to's that drive us.

    Because your actions were congruent with your beliefs and you were transparent about it, you were able to connect on a much deeper level with people. So many of us struggle (Yes me toooo) with being congruent in our truth AND actions. That's where the problem can start.

    I love what you stand for and being in your light, no matter how messy it may be be. :-)
  • And you're right ... we are all selling all the time, we are all selling ourselves every day, to all the people we are in a relationship with, whether about business or in our personal lives. It is interesting how we get caught up in the badness of the "sell" word.

    And thanks Tony, I think that admitting how messy I am is why some people resonate with me ... because really, we're all messy. :)
  • Great post as usual. It really does have to go both ways...caring about me and caring about you. 4 years ago, I was such a newbie that I went the caring about you route full force. I learned, I learned. But not without completely falling in all of the potholes along the way :)
  • Yes, this is so huge for me because my default is to give and give and care about everyone else ... and forget to take care of myself. And then I get burned out, resentful, etc. We can only give & take care of others once we are filled up ... we give from our overflowing.
  • Hey Elizabeth,

    You couldn't be more right! When I "launched" my latest program in November, I did it from a place totally unlike all the usual "don't take no", "bombard them with marketing", "if people aren't unsubscribing, you haven't sent enough emails" hype.

    It was from the place of "Here's what the program offers. If this is an issue for you, check it out. If it works, great, let's do it together. If not, no worries." Period.

    And a great thing happened, I sold out the program and, while I could have "sold" another 20 spots, I didn't. Kept it true to what I wanted it to be and now it's doing wonders for the members AND me.

    And as a purchaser of your most recent product, I couldn't be happier -- both with the way you offered it and the content to date.

    Keep up the fabulous work!

    Love and hugs,

    Sandy :-)
  • Thanks Sandy, it was so great to see that you joined us in this program. And isn't it funny how we all let go of those icky tactics, and things changed. :)
  • The tactics and pillars help guide buyers to what they want... but you got to have something they want. That's why you are successful
  • What a refreshingly candid post. I too have struggled with the balance between my desire to be a community member and my obligation to fund my business and thus feed my family. I can't do all that I do for free. Though I do a lot of it as such. I hate saying no, but I'm not funded by some great bank account in the sky. It's just me, myself and I creating, performing and, yes, selling. And that's okay.

    SMILE On!

    ML
  • I don't know why it's such a dirty word to sell especially on social media. I understand no one wants to be spammers or come across the wrong way on social media. But I like to think of it as in order for me to help more people I need to charge money for my services and solutions. Otherwise I would go out of business and wouldn't be able to help anyone any more.

    I come from a place of helping more people I integrate this into everything. One thing I struggle with though is the scarcity tactic sometimes. I've seen it so misused where there really is no scarcity and really they are lying.

    So what I did for my last launch was exactly what you did I raised my price and set a deadline. And guess what I actually raised my price unlike most marketers I see out there!

    And then I forgot I did a video for the sales page with the old price on it and someone called me out of it wondering what the right price was. Whoops :)

    I think your Live Your Truth Project will be awesome!

    @jhaubein
  • omg, doesn't it drive you nuts when people say "the prices is going up on __ day!" and it is total b.s., it's a script that just changes the day or whatever. I mean, as if no one will ever notice? wtf.

    thanks so much jen!
  • I am SO happy to read this blog post. Although I definitely enjoy helping working mothers, I too have financial obligations to my own family that have to be met. My household isn't a not-for-profit. Thanks Elizabeth for being real and honest enough to admit that money is part of the information exchange
  • Am I allowed to answer THAT question on here? I mean.... isn't this a family friendly site? Ok.. you did say to answer the question, so.... here goes... sorry readers:
    Prime Rib Sandwich..... That's what I want you make me for lunch.

    As far as the rest of the post goes- awesome to see that you have adventure as one of the things you care about. I suppose that it's probably a good thing that it came after important things for the kiddo.

    Transparency rocks... oh wait, that reminds me of a joke! This works better when read out loud:
    So this guy walks into his shrink's office wearing nothing but Seran Wrap. His shrink looks at him and says "I can clearly see you're nuts!"

    Transparency joke aside-- being transparent has caused me the occasional issue (http://www.couchsurfingori.com/2009/12/02/no-mo... for example). I recently told you how the person I'm couchsurfing with came into the room in a grumpy mood, and said that leaving the DVDs out of the box is really irritating him. He was in a cranky mood from work, and quickly apologized. I said there's no need... 'cause he communicated in a transparent manner. There was no guessing required for me. I knew exactly what to do to fix it, and exactly what not to do in the future. If everyone really said what's on their mind, we'd all know where we were screwing up, and may quit doing that.

    I recently told people on my blog (and twitter/facebook/linkedin/myspace/etc.... especially etc!) that I gave a company $99 to get me 1,000 facebook fans (http://www.couchsurfingori.com/2010/01/16/scam-...) - I mean... who tells people these things? Well, I do. Granted, the company didn't do their thing, but now I won't recommend Viralee to any of my clients. In fact, I like talking about it... the experience gave me something to talk about. I also have no shame in telling people that I was a short fat kid, and I occasionally pick my nose. Yeah, I picked it while typing this! How's that for transparency? :)

    I love sales... I don't like hard selling. I don't like coersion. But, problem solving... this is the solution that will solve your problems, and yes, it will cost money... (For example- if I get you to the front of google, make your website pretty, give you a picture that stands out, and get you comfortable in front of the camera so you can videoblog (vlog) every day... You are more than likely to get morre clients than you're currently getting. Those clients will pay you more than I'm charging you, so.... why the hell would you not hire me to do this project? Oh yeah.. I also do great work.) That I'm fine with.

    I think your transparency rocks. You have a lot of interesting aspects to your life, and it's cool that you're sharing them. Most people are too scared to share what's really up with them, so they have to live vicariously through you. This creates a big connection when you say/do something, and "Wow! I just had the same thing happen!" Now they are no longer alone... and they connect. And you're a real person, and people do business with people they know, like, and trust.

    Oh.... I just thought of another joke! It's an old one, and it's bad. I'll skip that one, but here's the link.. just in case... it sort of has to do with transparency :)
  • Radical honesty is so amazing. Actually just telling people what we think, how we feel, what's the freaking problem ... is hard at first, but takes so much less energy than passive aggressive, hiding stuff, push selling, whatever.

    And that's also the thing, being transparent on our blogs, sharing the stuff that we do that's dumb or doesn't work out, or even just personal life stuff ... most people are afraid to share that. But it's all true, we all are have crap and insanity and personal stuff going on ... and just by having the guts to share it, we bond with our readers. And ... can inspire them to do awesometastic stuff. :)
  • marvelousmartha
    As Mary Kay Ash said, 'nothing happens until somebody sells something'. (=
  • Great quote, thanks Martha! :)
  • Great post Elizabeth on how most of us really feel. It's hard to get that tacky sales training off the brain even when you now it's wrong! I shall retweet the Truth.....
  • Love the transparency. More than a question I have a comment that is a question, I think. Online business in all it's forms has been a curiosity for a long time. I have a minor hold on what people are doing to make money, just not sure I want to jump through all those hoops. Some assembly is required, I understand that. What I do is of a creative nature and doesn't follow a very predictable pattern. Is it really all about the paradigm shifting web 2.0 SEO adword, 16 different way to write better blog posts now kind of stuff.? I guess you get my drift :-)
  • I don't think it's about SEO, adwords, etc. etc. tactic stuff. I suggest get to fundamentals -- the content or service or product you create ... and the relationships you have with the people who buy ... and then remember to charge money for something. :)
  • Love it! Elizabeth, I'm with ya. We gotta make money and the great thing is we can have fun while were doing it too. You don't have to use hard sell tactics, especially when you've already built a relationship. Not everyone will buy but I can assure things will be much better and you feel better when you sell from that place of caring and being transparent and authentic.

    I'm not sorry either ;-) We all gotta make money and we're all doing different things to make that money.

    As for a question I wish you would of asked, hmmm...well, besides ones that would just inflate my ego, I don't have any. Have a great night!
  • And letting go of the fact that everyone should buy is huge ... because everyone *shouldn't* buy from me or anyone else. Maybe not this time around, maybe never.

    And ... one thing that many people forget is that some of the people who never buy become evangelists ... and end up bringing in tons of other people who do buy. But if you are trying to force the sale on the inappropriate person, you'll never get those other sales.
  • There are so many people in this space that somehow think selling is inherently evil. Maybe the ruthless, unethical way it's been in the internet marketing field has conditioned us to think like this. But you're right, it doesn't have to be one extreme or another. As long as you're providing value to people, what's so bad about being forthcoming and admitting "hey, I want to make money!"?
  • And it makes me so upset when people think that is wrong ... so they create businesses that have no way to make money. Blogs that have no way to be monetized, niches or target markets that are not well thought out, etc.
  • remarkablogger
    This is exactly where people get strategies and tactics confused. Or rather, all they have are a handful of tactics told to them by some marketing "guru," when tactics without the right strategy are a recipe for epic failure.

    Caring alone is not a strategy, but it's a damn big part of it. Both strategies and tactics come from the heart, not from the spreadsheet.
  • And it drives me nuts that I almost fell for it myself, looking at my own tactics and repeating them without going back to fundamentals.

    And yes, caring is not a strategy all by itself, but it's a great measuring stick for me as I'm making decisions ... and overall theme to evaluate against.
  • lorilatimer
    You are the poster child for the new way of dong business... it's your truth and transparency that do the selling for you. You're real, and your truth shines through, and that's what people want today. And you teach the rest of us how to do that, and that being ourselves is enough, just the way we are. Thanks for continuing to share your truth!
  • Yes! I am so excited about the third tribe too. We are making the changes in the way we do business, the way we communicate. How much we show we care. I totally agree: you have to care about your potential clients and also about yourself, rent, food, your kid.

    That's being true to yourself and to your truth. :) And congrats on an awesome launch! :)
  • The truth is so friggin cool. And whaddya know -- IT IS COOLER THAN THE 'STORY' THAT MOST PEOPLE USE TO PASS FOR THE TRUTH. (Yes, I meant the ALL CAPS there. I was yelling a little....sorry.)
    Alli
    P.S. Third tribe is a cool thing. The term and the idea behind it. Wish I had had you or me around when I was starting out in business. Or in motherhood. Or in life for that matter.
    P.P.S. Talk to you in 59 minutes.
  • We did have you and me when we started out in life. Apparently, this is the journey we signed up for.

    #thingstodiscussmoreonskype #andinperson
  • sharonmc
    I like what Catherine Caine said and I'm in that boat too. Elizabeth I pop in and out in addition to managing IRL stuff, so I'm sorry if I'm missing info here, but what are you launching soon? I saw the 4-weeks to video page through your FB post but what's following it?
  • Sharon -

    I'll be relaunching the 6 Weeks to Live Your Truth group coaching program, and the pre-launch free stuff includes The Live Your Truth Project (http://theliveyourtruthproject.com) if you want to check that out. :)
  • sue_anne
    I didn't sign up for the video project because like you said "I don't have the problem right now". Almost as soon as I decided not to sign up for your video project, I saw a tweet from either you or Sarah about Allison's writing / copyediting series and that *fits* in where I want to be heading right now.

    I am looking forward to the relaunch of your Live Your Truth project and seeing if that one fits for me.
  • I'm excited that you did find the thing that you needed, and that's so important, to only invest our time/energy in what we really need right now. Not just what sounds good or what the people we like are selling. :)
  • sue_anne
    It's kind of funny because it's one of those things too that goes along with not just choosing the shiny object. Video is hot right now, everyone should be doing video, right? But, I don't have a huge interest in doing that sort of video. Trying to recognize those things as well.
  • Being a multimedia artist (one of my hats), I'd say that you're absolutely right. Video now accounts for more than 42% of all internet traffic (I believe it's higher now) - so, figuring out what "your form" of video may be a good thing. Video is a great way to get search engine rankings, get discovered by more people (not everyone likes to read / listen), and is an amazing tool to teach.
  • More than 42% of all Internet traffic? Holy crap!

    That got my attention. (Though I'm 99% sure I instinctively knew that already.)
  • Brilliant, Elizabeth. Traditional "selling" makes me ill. But like you said, I'm not running a non-profit. I have bills to pay, a business to grow, a bucket list to get to. And while relationships are all well and good, goodwill doesn't pay the mortgage. Thanks for being the kick in ass I needed today!
  • When I wrote "The launch worked because ..."

    I had no answer. I had to go futz around on FB & twitter for a while until I came back and read the first part of post over again, a few times.

    I finished the sentence, writing, without thinking "... because I cared. But I didn’t just care about you. I also cared about me"

    And then I cried. wtf.

    #thatisall
  • I'm really looking forward to seeing how the new, improved selling model works for you, because it's the one I want to use for my stuff, once I start really selling.

    Good luck, you've got at least one conversion! :)
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