My earliest memory is the moment when I realized that other people have thoughts.
Until that instant, I had been operating under the childish assumption that only I had an internal dialogue, that other people were automatons there to provide for my needs, to give me what I wanted, to fill up the world.
That’s what I assumed until the revelation that other people have feelings. That they have their own desires, their own opinions, their own lives. At that moment, I lost a piece of believing I was at the center of the universe.
And from product and business launches that failed over these last few years, from feedback from two of my best friends Ken Moorhead & Allison Nazarian over the last few months, I realized that I still do too much talking about me, not enough quiet listening to others, that I still have a tendency to forget that the world does not revolve around what I want, around how I think things should be, around what’s going on in my life, around what I think people should need.
That’s one of the big things I’m working on – remembering that I’m not the center of the universe. Remembering to quietly listen.
And that’s also the secret of launches. Of business. Of why things fail.
Not because the sales copy was too long, not because the video editing was imperfect. Not because we didn’t use our affiliates enough or didn’t send enough emails or tweets. Not because the price point was wrong or we talked about features instead of benefits. Not because people are sick of launches.
Launches fail because we didn’t shut the fuck up and listen.
Not to what people say they want. You can send out a thousand surveys and ask people in tweets and emails what they need, what they want to buy from you.
The problem is, people don’t know how to say what they really want.
Henry Ford has been quoted as saying – “If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.”
Ford knew that people didn’t give a crap about the damn horses. People wanted to get places faster. And cheaper. And easier. And cleaner. With less hassle. And more reliability.
And we forget that. We forget to really listen.
Not just listen to what people say, but to what’s underneath what they say.
To what they really want. The problem they really need solved for them.
So that’s my most important piece of marketing advice to you. And to me.
Yes, we need to write good copy and create amazing products and set the right price points and do testing and ask people questions and develop relationships and nurture our tribes.
But more than anything, we need to shut up. We need to listen.
Not just to the words, but listen to the truth underneath those words, the truth our people feel but don’t yet know how to say. And by listening to that truth, by solving the real problems that our people cannot yet articulate, that’s where we will find our greatest success. That’s where we will make the greatest contribution to the world.
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I'm Elizabeth Potts Weinstein, a writer, teacher, and coach.