The Many Ways in Which I Suck

28. Feb, 2010 Categories: Living Your Truth by Elizabeth Potts Weinstein View Comments

I am blessed to have a never-ending skip chat open on my desktop with Allison Nazarian and Sarah Robinson called “the daily confessional” where I can share all of my insanities, the snarks about who’s annoying me, the bizarre yet amusing serendipities of life, everything that’s going wonky in my business or with my daughter or with my love life …

… and be free.

Because hiding behind an artifice of perfection is tiring.

Hiding drains my life energy until I have nothing left to give.

Hiding is a slow progression to death of my soul.

But there is this incessant voice inside my head who constantly judges me, who wants … no, who demands that I be perfect.

Or, at least that I appear to be perfect.

As if that is the only way to succeed.

The only way to get people to read my blog. To follow me on twitter. To buy my stuff.

As if that is the only way to get someone to love me.

Yet in a fundamental irony of life, the exact opposite is true.

Only by confessing my inadequacies, only by revealing the ways in which I deviate from the norm, only by letting out the part of myself that is my greatest fear to be shared … only then can profound, intimate connections be made with other like souls.

So here are some of the things I don’t want to confess to you.

I’m taking alimony.

I can’t afford this amazing apartment in San Francisco, to pay for groceries and clothes for my daughter and plane tickets and new furniture … completely on my own. Yet. Right now a majority of my living expenses are paid for via spousal & child support.

I hate that I’m taking this money. Feels like I’m a failure of feminism, that I’m one of the lame gold-diggerish women who live from ex-husband to ex-husband, instead of financing my own life. Feels like a failure as an entrepreneur, that my newly-profitable business doesn’t yet produce enough cash to support my live-your-truth life.

My secret plan is the very second my business can replace the alimony, I’m releasing my ex-husband of any future obligations.

And from then on, I will be financially independent. Never ask a man to support my life. Always keep money separate from love.

But until that day, this is how I pay a majority of my bills.

I have raised my voice to my child.

Two weeks ago I taught the preview upstream class for the 6 Weeks to Live Your Truth program with my 4 1/2 year old daughter in the house.

Now usually (always) when I teach a class, my daughter is with her dad, or in childcare, or being watched by another person … never in the house with me. But it was a national holiday that are not in my current awareness, meaning that childcare was not available. And I thought, oh, I’m sure she can be quiet for just an hour. And I discussed the situation with her and she agreed (the agreement of a 4 year old? yeah. exactly.).

It did not go well. And everyone listening to the ustream got to hear me get impatient with my daughter. Lovely.

The thing is, I’m an introvert living with an extrovert child. And as much as I need private time to recharge, physical space every day, to energize myself … she needs constant connection, she needs other humans who love and care about her, to energize herself.

And after 3 weeks of being together almost 24-7 … both of us were energy deprived.

So every time people say, oh, you’re such a great mom, look at what you are doing as a mompreneur, it’s so amazing how you balance your life … I am saying to myself, yeah, if you only knew. If you only knew when I stick a DVD in her iMac and shut the door to my bedroom to gain a few minutes of peace. How relieved I am to drop her off with her dad for the weekend so I can have 48 continuous hours to simply be myself.

There are women where being a mom is their calling in life, where they can raise a dozen children and spend 24-7 with them and play all the time and homeschool them and cook them organic food and never run out of hugs.

But that is not me. Sometimes, I am full out of hugs. And sometimes, I just need a freaking break.

I have not been doing my bookkeeping.

Remember how I’m a financial expert? How I teach that “Money Meetings” thing, where you look at your numbers every week, keep on top of your finances, track your marketing stats, use cash flow projections to make important decisions about your business?

Yeah. I agree with all that. I teach all that. But I don’t necessarily do all that.

I mean, I have done it. But the last few months, I’ve been running around on adventures and moving and launching new programs and various other stories I could tell blah blah blah, and stopped doing my weekly money meetings, and even stopped inputting stuff into my bookkeeping program.

Not that I don’t look at my numbers, but it’s random and not I’m tracking historical trends more than late night obsessions over my google analytics.

And … I’m still deciding what I think about that, whether the way I was teaching weekly money meetings (as useful as it is for many people) actually works for me.

I forget most of my marketing.

I have dozen of affiliates that I forget to tell about launches. The last two launch preview calls, I forgot to tell my list about it until 48 hours before. I don’t remember or have a place to track who makes special inquiries about which upcoming program. I rarely remember to follow up.

Doing guest posts has been on my to do list for 9 months. I am a guest on radio shows and teleclasses and get press, but I don’t know why or how they found me and I don’t follow up with them or seek out such opportunities.

I launch programs without any upsells to something afterwards. I don’t let anything get out of beta before I abandon it and move onto the next thing. I even launch free programs with no upsell to a paid program. Up until very recently, I neglected to have anything for sale on my website.

It’s a wonder I any money at all.

And if one of my clients was doing this, I would flip out at them.

This is something I’m working on, and I know (for the most part) what to do. But it’s important for me to let you know … just because I know something doesn’t mean I always do it.

My websites are completely screwed up.

So most of you are on my website right now (and for the few of you reading the RSS feed, go ahead, click through to my site) … and let me ask you a question — what do I do?

rflol.

Yeah, exactly. When people go to my website, they can’t tell what I do.

And that’s not the only thing that’s screwed up. There’s no picture of me in the header or anywhere above the fold. There’s not even a real header. Half the stuff in the sidebar is broken. There are 64 different links off my homepage. There’s no way to buy anything.

And don’t even get me started on my sales pages.

Everything is in one column because I did it all myself. Too much white space in random places. It’s almost impossible to find the buy links. The copy is probably way too long. I forgot to ask for testimonials and didn’t put in pictures or any borders around the testimonials I do have on there. There are no buttons or graphics or colors of any kind.

I’m going to launch a new website soon, and get all of those sales pages revamped. But, in the meanwhile, they are out there on the interwebz, completely screwed up.

I don’t answer all of your emails.

I preach connecting with your tribe, building relationships with your community. Making that your priority.

But I miss emails from you. I have dozens sitting in multiple inboxes and follow up queues on multiple computers. And I don’t think I’ll ever catch up. And I just can’t let go to delegate to an assistant or automate anything.

I miss your @ replies. I miss your DMs. I have thousands of stuff sitting in my Facebook message box.

Sometimes it’s because I’m overwhelmed with amazing replies and just can’t get to all of them. Sometimes it’s because I can’t decide what to respond, so I put it off until the situation resolves itself or the opportunity passes me by. And sometimes it’s because I’m chickening out on conflict.

So yeah, I need to figure out how to balance connection with freaking getting stuff done.

And those confession are just the start of everything I fear you could learn about me.

The hearts of men that I have broken. How I’ve texted while driving. The dirty dishes left in my sink. That I didn’t put up a Christmas tree this year. I can’t iron. I don’t play with my cat. My car is a mess. The mail is piled up. I don’t always recycle. I’ve deleted my entire website by accident. I’ve filed tax returns late.

And I feel so much better from writing this down. And posting it. And that you’re reading this right now.

Because the secret is … some of you will be offended or lose faith in me.

And you will leave. As you should, because we were never meant to be.

But some of you will stay.

And here’s the awesome, amazing, delicious thing … with you I get to be myself. And not only is that okay with you … that’s why you like me, for the whole of me, including those parts of myself that I was afraid to share.

So … what are you afraid to share with us?

What are you thinking and not saying? What are you hiding that is leaching energy and life away from you? Who can’t you tell? What are you not speaking?

Related posts:

  1. The Many Ways in Which I’m Awesome
  2. Things That Don’t Suck
  3. 3 Ways to Use Twitter Lists to Stalk Your Tribe

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  • Alan
    Elizabeth, thank you for the courage you have displayed. I feel inferior on a daily basis no matter how hard I try I have negative voices in my head saying I can't, or I am not good enough, of some other sense of unworthiness. You are much more talented in what you do than I will probably ever will be. Knowing that you have the same kind of issues as the rest of us means that there is hope for us all. You are my HERO!!! Please keep on being real. Thanks so much.
  • After all that, wouldn't you know it? Being yourself is enough.

    We all suck at something, some of us suck at many things. I don't always practice what I preach either.

    Let go, relax, enjoy. It's not easy but it is necessary.
  • Tara
    LOVED this post! Love it, love it, love it! Be yourself and enjoy your life!
  • Thanks for sharing, because I suck too!
  • C. Thorn
    Very refreshing to see that "experts" are also human. I thought I was the only one who felt I am not "walking the walk" at times. I met you a couple of years ago at a networking event, and get your e-mails once in a while, but for the most part I delete them, because I feel your approach back then was to try and sell, but not really connecting with your audience. This is a good start.
  • Holy cow! What a post! You go girl! I read this and then sat thinking of all the ways I suck too - may need to write my own post, because it might over-fill the comments here - LOL

    I was gonna send you a DM to comment about some stuff - but you might not read it! :)

    Finding that balance is very hard... I think everyone struggles with it! I also think that you are learning far more than you give yourself credit for... NO ONE starts out doing everything perfectly - nor are they ever perfect... just sayin' :)
  • Elizabeth, thanks so much for this. I personally suck in wildly different ways :) but I've got my peccadillos myself that I find myself trying to hide so often without even realizing I'm doing it. It's so easy to gloss over the embarrassing/difficult/what have you stuff in our blogging and talking even to good friends, especially when time is at a premium as is always the case for us moms. It would take me too long to admit my own flaws here (the f-bomb in front of the kiddo admission hits home! but I'm working on it!), but I'm going to be even more honest in my work from now on. Thanks again for this.

    Jennifer
  • So there are ways you suck......I wonder what that feels like..........I wouldn't know because I am perfect, have a perfect life and my websites are amazing and everything works when you click on it....

    Yeah.....right.......which is why at 6pm on a Sunday night I am redoing one of them.......

    Which is why I am reading your blog before I write my copy to get my mind right - to remember that it isn't about perfect....it is about telling your truth........

    You probably don't know most of us that read your blog but I want you to know, you have made a difference in my life. After reading your blog, I decided to get off my arse and start telling my truth instead of hiding under my bed scared that someone may challenge me ........ to get over the 'who am I' complex and open my mouth!!

    So thank you for your openess and honesty!
  • Well, if it makes you feel better, I signed up for your daily emails on the strength and truth of this essay. So there, and thanks!
  • juliastege
    Well, if you suck then I suck too. What a relief to let it all hang out. I have been doing my best to be totally authentic, but I hadn't been THAT authentic. Seeing all these comments has me realize that what our perfect peeps really are seeking is just the truth, and that we can bring authenticity to a new level.

    By the way, I help folks with their websites if you need it. See my site below.
  • lisaangelettie
    Elizabeth,
    I read this post and was totally laughing hysterically because for one I can totally relate on many levels. As a mom. As someone with a biz online. And then of course mixing those two together. I was also laughing WITH tons of respect, because of who I thought you were when I first met you at our luncheon table at an Ali event, and who you are today.

    You have evolved or perhaps revealed yourself as someone totally different then what my first perception of you was. And while I thought I could possibly connect with that woman, I really like and connect with who you are today. What you are doing with your business. And how transparency has made you a totally kick-a#@! writer and solopreneur.
  • Bravo! You are freakin' hilarious, Elizabeth. From one truth seeker/speaker to another, I love how you let your ass hang out.

    I recently realized that I have been so concerned about what people would think of why I started my blog at truthU.com and not a "conventional" business...that I made up a really logical reason that I could tell myself & others. How ironic is that?! Blogging about finding the truth and not admitting my own truth to myself about the true purpose of the blog itself. Duh.

    Well, after a couple of months of this dithering, I finally made the decision to make my blog my business. It's funny how badly I want to backspace & erase that statement rather than announce it to the world...but screw it. That's my truth & I'm stickin' to it.

    Keep on keepin' on, Sister!
  • raydee
    Hey Elizabeth, i love that you suck, me too i suck at a lot of things except intuition, i would love to have a chat about some of your sucky stuff may be i can help thats another thing i don,t suck at lol.

    catch up with you soon

    raydee
    Aussie guy
  • Hey loved this post. Of course a lot of it sounds very familiar. Can't wait to read your 'ways I'm awesome' post. Good stuff.
  • ElizabethPW,
    you are incredibly brave to speak your truth in this way! i admire you and encourage you to continue, those who turn away aren't willing to explore the depth of truth & vulnerability you have expressed here and those of of who think it amazing & inspiring are encouraged to know there are people out there willing to dive into the dark side that would be so easy to ignore.
    much love, chris arcucci
    www.MindfulLivingArts.com
  • Having just spent February writing and recording 18 songs, many of them about fear and failure and The One I Was Once Married To But Am No Longer, I just don't have the emotional energy to write the 15-page list you asked for in your last paragraph.

    As someone who has paid support, I want to urge you to stop fretting about it. Unless you intentionally gouged out some poor schmuck's heart just so you could pillage his pocketbook, I think you're entitled; at least, you're entitled enough that he hasn't used the legal system to kill the arrangement.

    I'd love to ask you not to worry about all the other stuff too, but I'm busy ignoring my daughter so I can write a guest blog post for someone, and then hopefully I'll have time to shower and get out of my jammies before my working wife fixes my dinner for me.

    Next time we come to the Bay from here in Sac, I'd love to aim a camera at you and chat for a bit if you'd find that amusing.
  • Mike Korner
    Oh my God, she's human!

    Hey, I just checked the INFJ bylaws and they clearly state that when more than 75 people say you don't suck, you don't suck. Live that truth :)

    If you are really worried about your picture being below the fold, just get a larger monitor :)

    Rock on EPW! The world needs your super-awesomeness!
  • kevincarney
    Wow! What a post! I can image no one else posting that article on their blog. I'm now eagerly waiting for the "Why I'm awesome" sequel, and I mean that sincerly.
  • This is a great discussion! I've been going through the same kind of mind-shift and your describe it very well. Way to "live your truth!" Isn't it liberating to just take what comes and push it to our own max, not waiting on the sidelines to be "fixed"? I feel much freer to take the focus off myself and create more connection, love, value, innovation, and so forth with and for others.

    I'm grinning from ear to ear that you have unearthed such a talent for helping others to become free in the way you have freed yourself. Wish I had met you years ago! Mazel tov!!
  • Rock on Elizabeth.

    Reading this made my day.

    Phew. What a relief. Because now I can be ok being unshowered, and slow, and confused about which project to work on next, and worried about the next launch, or offending someone with my money-grubbing, manipulative ways.

    Thanks for sharing your wild free spirit . . .

    P.S. If it makes you feel any better, I was once taking my son to his room for a time out and I tripped and fell and landed on top of him. Good parenting, right?
  • What a great read! Thanx for sharing, Elizabeth. And, thanks for reminding me of the many ways in which I suck! Yeah, thanks a lot! =)
  • We're all fatally flawed. It's part of being human. If you believe in Christianity, or many other religions, those fatal flaws are the whole reason that we are here on this Earth to learn from them and grow.

    Thank you for being so open about your flaws and imperfections. I have a family that I'm really close with. They have seven boys, one girl and have been married for nearly 40 years. While we were growing up, many people would comment about how perfect their family was, but they weren't. They had struggles with their children just like everyone else did. But, they were human and lovely.

    You are human and lovely and a good mom and a good business woman. You'll take a look at each of these things and you, your BFFs and others in your life will help make them better. I'm sure you've made up to Gracie 20x for your impatience you mentioned.
  • Keep it coming, E. :-)

    I love how the internets let us be our screwed up selves, yet still find people who will put up with us. :-)
  • mariaportas
    Elizabeth! Thank you for your honesty!
    Thought I was the only one. I totally relate to you, single, 2-ex, 3kids, all over the place, awesome ideas and by the time i get to them, running after everyone, the idea has gone and there is a new one in my head. Aaaaagh! Glad I am not the only one, and if more people were honest we would stop hiding behind perfection.
    And the reason I would work with you is that I totally relate to you, and yet can still see that you are a step in front of me, that you are getting things out the door. I am stuck in no-mans land.
  • Elizabeth, each of your sections are amazing, profoundly honest and had me stop and pause (and relfect and consider wanting to send just that section to about a dozen peeps)

    To bottom line it --sounds to me like your running on instincts and it's sort of going brilliantly.

    What a wonderful post about "sucking" I'm definitely sticking around for more.
    And I as Sarah Robinson wrote at one point, you push me to see my own limits or wilingness to walk my talk and be honest. crap.
  • Ava Diamond (@feistywoman)
    "And I think not having a plan B really is the only way I will ever play this game 100%."

    This is so profound, Elizabeth. And a great reminder! Thank you.

    This post has been really helpful as I'm launching a new website and (my first) blog at the end of the month, and am agonizing over whether my first blog post ever could ever be as amazing as my perfectionistic self tells me it needs to be. So I keep putting off writing it until "tomorrow."

    I guess I'd better just jump in.
  • I can't believe I'm actually afraid to post this. I'm not usually afraid of much these days.

    The main reason I suck:

    I already figured your ex was funding your lifestyle. I always assume the spouse/mate, ex, parents, etc. are the real funding source behind anyone living a bold, cool, in-the-flow lifestyle that I wish I could live. I feel like such a bitch/loser for thinking that, but it's the way I've thought for a long time (result of growing up with rich kids). Instead of moving on and taking responsibility for the fact that I'm 32 years old and have made all the decisions that led me to my current inability to jump on a plane and have adventures (quitting my corporate job to become a full-time doctoral student), I keep moping about being stuck in one place, because I don't have anyone to help me. (Husband is a teacher and is as supportive as he can be). The fact is, the situation can't be helped at the moment - not until I finish school. But now I resent the whole Ph.D. program and everything to do with academics because I'm so freakin' poor I can't stand it. I'm even starting to resent my part-time business in its current form because I know how to make so much more money than I currently do ghostwriting for other people.

    Thanks for helping me admit why I suck! I enjoy every one of your blog posts and tweets. I always think. "Wow. She's way more like me than I am." In large part because of your inspiration, I am slowly but surely creating a life that allows me to be "like me." So what if I have to fund my own adventures - just lights a more intense fire under my ass.
  • CakeSocial
    So we "met" when you were doing that money meeting thing and I had a tiny tiny not-at-all-successful business and I thought "if I have to sit down once a week and think about all the money I don't have and don't know how to get, I just might lose it." So, you are not alone in letting a few things slip through the cracks. If you DO ever want some assisting, just say the word - I'd be happy to help you get things (slightly more) organized!
  • 1. I live beyond my means. (Is that the way you say it?) From paycheck to 3 days before the next paycheck. Sometimes I get a payroll advance to get through.
    2. Am uncomfortable with my level of debt.
    3. I crave appreciation.
    4. I rewatch my own videos because I enjoy the sound of my voice.
    5. Sometimes I have a story that if people don't talk to me, or comment on my videos, blogs, tweets, they don't like me/my content is crap/and I need to just stop talking.
  • Wow- takes some of these to say all that. http://bit.ly/94e8Dh
  • Jamilah Hassan
    Dear Elizabeth,
    It's ok not to be perfect. No matter what we do, where we are - deep inside, we will always be who we are. Remember the old saying from the wise old people "Honesty is the best policy?" - throughout the evolution of human progress this simple advise will be worth keeping for it will never change with time or space, universally..
    I'm a mother and I have the same feeling - i do need time to be away from my own children every now and then, it doesn't mean my love is less. As a working mother (office based), the work pressure sometime requires me to have a quality time to my self, to de-stress and to re-charge my energy for the continuation of survival.
    And being a second wife to a shared husband (our marriage is legal, of course), it give me perfect balance. I have time to be on my own when his shift is with the other family in a different house. I will still be his wife, but my obligation to serve dinner and attention to his needs will not be required, then I have time to pamper my self to SPA or saloon or having girls outing with my friends. It doesn't mean my love is less either. That's the beauty of a working polygamy system. And I'm not ashamed to share it because there's a wisdom in the system. I'm not a backward person just because we believe in a religion and god's wisdom - in fact it gives us more freedom when we understand the need for human species to have faith in their creator who knows best what's best for us.

    So, meaning to be human is to accept our weaknesses and to accept that we do need guidance on how to live this life successfully. Blind arrogance has a price. It's good that you have the wisdom to open up and share with us. This disclosure does not make you a bad person, it makes you a better person when you can kill your own arrogance - to allow you to pass through the path that will lead you to a better life, you have succeeded in identifying your weaknessess and this will lead you to more discoveries on how best to handle your business and life in the future.
    All the best, may success be with you, as always... ;-)
  • Get em EPW! I can tell how truly therapeutic your posts are for you. I admire your ability to convey the passion and depths of your world on a frequent basis. Great post....

    My top 3:

    1. Ashamed I didn't finish college
    2. Ignore my 4.5 y/o/15 mo/ wife too often when trying to watch/read education stuff online
    3. Give way too much credence to what other people think about me

    Jake
  • shawnacevraini
    Thanks so much for writing this! You have no idea how much it means to me that you are honest and open. You are someone that I totally look up to because of this. That you are not afraid to admit your shortcomings - the same ones that WE ALL HAVE! I look up to you because you are REAL. That means more to me than any of the "perfect" people out there.

    You will not be losing me, that's for sure. You have yet again impressed me, and made me feel better because I am not alone in thinking "I suck". Of course, we don't really suck, but it sure feels that way sometimes. Thank you for letting me know that that's ok to feel that way sometimes. That we all want to be perfect and do it all. That we are in this together.

    You ROCK!
  • Lily Iatridis
    I sure wish my husband's ex-wife had the same attitude as you with regard to taking alimony! Too bad we can't trade her for you. Don't worry about losing patience with your little one and raising your voice. Everybody does sometimes, and if they say they don't, they're lying.

    Best,
    Lily
  • This is great stuff. I was reading through it, and I found myself saying, "Oh, crap... some folks are going to be put off." I was thinking specifically of the parts where you admit you don't always practice what you preach. And this is coming from the master of doing shit wrong.

    But then I realized that what you're doing is kind of testing folks, or filtering them. The people who are put off were never right for you. It's like if someone admits they're gay and loses friends. If they left, what kind of fucking friends were they? Whey you admit flaws, you make the connection with the people who will accept them stronger, and there are more of those people than you may think, because none of us are perfect. I have some stuff I haven't admitted either.
  • Pam
    Wow, amazing post!

    You definitely have guts. You make me realize how scared I am to share the truth about myself. Just know that you are SO not alone.

    I'm sitting here contemplating spilling my issues, and I freeze up. It is a gift that you can be so transparent!

    I so relate to the parenting thing, and being introverted (I felt like I was reading about myself!), and every other quality/imperfection. I think I have them all!

    I'm not divorced, but I still "live off" my husband and feel guilt about it. I'm been trying to build a business for 2 years and it is slow going. I equate my worth with the money I bring in, which is a big mistake.

    All I can say is I'm riveted to your story and your truth! I love marveling at what you are able to share, and the inspiration I gain, in hopes I'll keep moving toward that level of transparency, which ultimately is freedom.

    (I need to take that personality test one of these days, because I think I'm one of your kind, lol)
  • Ya know, I have SO MANY things that I feel suck-y at, things that only my closest friends know about, if I even tell them. And then there are the qualities that I don't want to give added power to by speaking aloud or bringing into discussions. Though stuffing the thoughts down inside does not help either.

    I find that when I can share something I dislike about myself or am not proud about, with someone I trust, it releases the hold that shame has over me. I know that speaking it to thousands of people (as you do) will probably produce the same result (do you see a difference yourself, telling one friend rather than telling your Twitter list?) Speaking to the masses is a step that I have not been able to take easily, like in my e-newsletter or blog, but it's time is coming.

    You are a trail blazer for me, Elizabeth, and I truly appreciate your acknowledgment of where life is NOT quite working for you, because I certainly have been wondering about all the positive "wonderfulness" that I read out there and wonder why I don't seem to have it all together as "they" do. I wonder if I am the only mom who has cursed at her teenage daughter, who breathes a sigh of relief when they go to their dad's for the weekend, who can't keep track of paperwork, who loves work but gets bogged down in the details needed to complete tasks.

    I see that I am normal, just as you are. Phew, holding onto perfection is EXHAUSTING and IMPOSSIBLE, and for what purpose anyway. LIfe is not flawless, but is perfectly presented each day with choices and opportunities that flavor our existence. Today, I choose coconut!
  • marvelousmartha
    I'm afraid to share that I wish I had a bff. I wish I was thin again. I wish my business was as successful as it used to be. I wish I did not get my family into debt. I wish I would have been a better work at home mom. I wish I had a job that I was super passionate about. I wish I had a huge honkin diamond ring from my husband. But most of all I wish I was confident about who I am supposed to be.

    They say you are like the five people you hang around with the most. And that is why I am hanging around you. Because even though you might think you suck, I think you are most marvelous. And awesometastic.
  • We all either wish those things, or used to wish it. I mean, I met Alli in June, before that, I wanted a bff. I weight 40 lbs more 18 months ago. I still have tons of credit card debt from growing my business. None of us started where we are. :)
  • reallifesarah
    I've been lurking around, following you on Twitter and reading occasional blog posts, love your videos. But to tell the truth, I have been kind of intimidated to "connect," because you seem so together, bathed in awesomeness, the kind of mompreneur I want to be. And you're hilarious.

    The fact is, this post makes me like and respect you more.

    As for my confessions: I'm kind of embarrassed that my husband does all the laundry. And for the past week, I've been falling asleep in the afternoons, so he's been cooking dinner too. I used to be the great mom who did everything, but I'm just so burned out right now. I can't quite get this Work-at-Home mom thing.

    Also, I'm the nice one. the one who's always open to others, accepting and positive- life of the party. At least most of the time. But there are times I don't want to admit, when I feel dark, mean, jealous. And I have to fight it off, because I do NOT want to give in to the negativity. Tonight, right before I saw your tweet, I tweeted this.

    "I am really dealing with jealousy and feeling left out tonight for some reason. Maybe confessing will help rid me of it... praying."

    There is such power in being authentic - admitting we're not perfect, while striving for "better." I hope you find some amazing new opportunities in SF, and freedom from this pressure to be perfect!
  • Yeah, I totally don't know what I'm doing. So, feel free to connect. :)

    btw, my dad did the laundry growing up, so I think of that as a job that is either for men or women, so I feel no guilt re that ... not that any man is doing my laundry. lol.
  • I don't know what I would do if my husband didn't do the dishes...really.

    We have a deal that he does the dishes and I do the laundry - except for I really have an aversion to laundry folding...I often have to fluff things before wearing to get the wrinkles out from not having been promptly folded...I don't see this a passion for laundry blossoming anytime soon.
    ;)
  • meganmatthieson
    Geesh EPW. You got me again. I suck in a million ways. Here are just a few....I'm selfish. I'm often needy. I don't want to spend the whole spring break looking at colleges. I'm sick of coming up with 3 meals. Every day. Funny though....just making this list makes me smile. I'm great in so many other ways. Hope ur having a good one. And feeling some of your greatness too.
  • Yeah, I just stopped coming up w/ 3 meals every day ... my daughter and I each eat our own foods (she eats like 5-6 things and is happy about that), and I typically only eat one "real" cooked meal a day, and then a bunch of heavy snacks. so yeah, another thing we "should" do but really, we don't need to do at all.
  • catherineavery
    Wow! This is so great. It is really hard to be a mompreneur. I have a nearly 5 year old and there are times when I just want to run off to a tropical island. I am fortunate that I still have a wonderful husband in the picture and that he is an amazing dad. But it's still not enough. There are simply not enough hours to slice and dice in the day.
    The one "splurge" I made early on in my business was to hire a book-keeper. Fact is I could not stand doing the books. Invoicing doesn't bother me, but reconciling puhleeze... The greatest business day of my life was when I handed that over to someone else. I felt so free. Still do.
    So my suggestion is take your one most dreaded chore, whatever that may be, and hire a student or someone to take it over for you! It will be well worth it.
    Good luck. And it's okay. None of us is perfect. We're human and we like you that way.
  • As Lisa Robbin Young so eloquently said..."um, yeah, we all suck"...and it's true. I so get what you're saying though, Elizabeth (at least I think I do)~it feels like a paradox sometimes doesn't it? We want to teach, help and support others and yet we'll do the very things that we don't want our clients or students to do.

    I wrestle with this dilemma at times. Because I ask myself.."Am I being false if I don't do what I tell my clients to do consistently~but at the same time I KNOW that I can help them!" Aaahhh! Frustrating to say the least.

    Here's the weird thing that I have found though (and sounds like you have too...) the very things that I have been sooo afraid to share or let people know about, have been some of the very things that have led to opportunities and "serendipity" if you will....odd but good too.

    I don't know if you've seen the commercial for a new show that's coming out called "Parenthood", but there's a phrase about "this is why parents eat their young"...oh yea; there have been days when I'd like to filet and grill my teenage daughter;-)

    P.S. GREAT List Allison..I NEVER took my kids to the grocery store...I still don't like to take my daughter and she's 19!!

    Hugs~
  • I am resolving it by saying that if I don't do it myself all the time but I am honest about it, then it's okay .... especially b/c I do most of it much of the time, and my clients do it, and I know it works. :)
  • lipdesign
    I'm staying ... I love you more than ever for sharing this. You are blazing a trail so the rest of us feel more comfortable sharing our truth thanks to you. Just look at these remarkable comments.

    My house is chaos, my body is inflated, my bank account is barren. I swear too much, I yell at my kids (surprised the perfect neighbors never called authorities). I don't check my mail fearing bills; I don't pay bills because I'm afraid of being broke. I'm probably headed for divorce after 20 years of marriage. Train wreck. The best part? I'm waking up and learning from all this.

    Keep the white space! This designer approves. Heck, my own site is down for a redo (that I'm not redoing because I'm stuck and fearful that the design will suck. ugh.)
  • And that's the thing, you are waking up and learning from all of this ... and doing it in the open. Congrats. Awesome. Sucks to be there sometimes. But it's the only way to be.
  • Yep! I hear ya! Thank you for confessing. I feel better just reading what you wrote. And I don't think any less of you. :) I just vacuumed my apartment, which hadn't been vacuumed for EVA! Or at least it felt like it... 0_0

    Honestly on the alimony thing, I don't think it's wrong at all - especially considering you've got a daughter. I think feminism and independence is great and all, but sometimes you gotta live first?!

    My confessions: sometimes I avoid my inbox. I've really been doing my money meetings diligently and inputting stuff into my book keeping, and honestly it has been great. Maybe I'm a little OCD about it, but I find it really helps me relax about money. :)

    Oh another confession: sometimes I like to stay in bed and read romance novels instead of doing work. How's that for laziness and such. ;)
  • annettenack
    I love this! I love your honesty and your willingness to be so honest!

    I wouldn't be leaving a comment here if I didn't identify with the majority of your post- minus the ex-husband.

    I'm a recovering perfectionist and I really think it's much harder on us than anyone else looking in from the outside. We "seem" to have it all together but if people only knew what we were doing to keep up appearances, I feel like they'd all run away.

    BUT I'm on a truth mission, just like you, Elizabeth, and like everyone else who is posting here so screw whomever thinks that you or any or us suck! Your honesty is why people still buy from you regardless of how screwed up you think your website or sales pages look. I do some of my own stuff too (sometimes it really looks like it) but I can't bear sometimes to give my baby to someone else.

    You live your truth and you never need to worry about anything else. You are living and not just existing on this planet. This is why we need you. We need someone who is willing to be open and honest about the way life really is. As much as we might want a pretty looking life, it'll never happen. Life is messy and sometimes cruel. We don't always get what we want but we still keep trying.

    I've decided that I never want to be perfect, I never want to get everything done and I definitely don't want to be the perfect, adorning mother. How can anyone relate to me then? What would I be teaching my clients or my children?

    You're breaking the cycle and I just really want to thank you for that.
  • Thanks Annette, and yes, I agree, that is part of my calling, to live my truth out in the open. :)
  • I can totally relate to the expectation of my own perfection. I don't think anyone else expects me to be perfect but me. And personally I'm inspired by your admissions, especially the ones that relate to parenting. I yell a lot more than I want to, but definitely not as much as my mother did. I feel guilty about it when I do but I also think its necessary sometimes. I've tried doing the opposite and just channeling a steely calm when the boy is really acting up and he only acted up more. So appearing angry and scaring the shit out of him is how I keep him in line. And you know what? He knows that when I do raise my voice, I mean business and he'd better move. Lately, I haven't had to yell much which makes me feel good.

    Where you say you're ashamed for getting support from your ex-husband, I'm ashamed that I haven't gotten support. I wouldn't qualify for alimony, but he doesn't even pay child support and for the last year, I've been the one taking responsibility for driving the boy back and forth b/w my house and his dad's house. Because his dad is irresponsible and entitled and lazy. I felt like if I didn't take the boy, he wouldn't have a relationship with his dad, but the ex started making demands and refusing to make concessions and I realized that I was doing all the work to make sure HE maintained a relationship with his son. Only in the last month did I decide no more. I will not take him unless--at the very least--I get gas money (its an hour away!). I felt bad about it, but I explained it to the boy and he seemed to understand.

    Like you, I'm an introvert with an extrovert child. My room is my private sanctuary and after a long day (or week) at the office, I just want to close my door and enjoy the quiet. And I do...a lot. But I feel guilty when the boy comes banging on the door wanting a hug or to sit with me while I watch TV and all I want to do is be left alone. It's hard finding that balance. Especially now that I haven't had a weekend without the boy since just after New Years (because I refuse to take him to his dad's house). My only saving grace is sending him outside with strict instructions not to return unless he's hungry or its dark. Free-range parenting is my friend.

    I know that's a big share, but you poured out your heart, so I wanted to pour mine out in return. There's no expectation that you be perfect here. We all do the best we can with what we have and it sounds like that's exactly what you're doing. So more power to you.

    Cheers!
  • Congrats on setting strong boundaries w/ your ex ... and I so feel you as the introvert parent of an extrovert child ... it's just be recently that I finally realized & accepted how much this is the issue.

    Thank you so much for sharing you story!
  • oh crap. there you go, writing what I was thinking this morning. My big "tell all" is coming soon -- and let me tell you, it will make YOU look like a saint. just trust me.
    And no way no how do I believe that mothers are perfect if they never raise their voice (I think it's admirable but I suspect there's some valium or martinis or something else keeping them so calm). that's just one of the reasons I don't have kids. I'm an introvert too and I used to think that I was selfish because I crave me time -- so no kids for me. That and .... oh I'll save it for my tell all. Just plain thanks for being you. That's all you realll have to do in this life EPW. Remember that. (because if you don't you'll come back again to do it over. I'd rather come back as someone else)
  • Congrats on your upcoming tell all ... and yeah, I am not sure if I believe there are moms that never raise their voice.
  • lorilatimer
    Yep, that's exactly why I like you! Because you are refreshingly honest in ways that so many people are afraid to be and will never be.

    I had to laugh at the things you said about being a mom. You handled Gracie's interruption on that preview call just fine. Sometimes we just have to go with whatever happens, and you did. She is only 4... I'm surprised she didn't come in sooner :)

    My sons are both grown now. But let me tell you, I raised my voice at them more than once. I have been married and divorced more than once (there's a big part of MY truth that I am not proud of). My oldest son has had some problems in his marriage and when we talked one night, as he put it, it bothered him that I haven't been able to have a permanent relationship. So I explained why I did some of the things I did (like getting married the second time so he would have a dad after his bio dad abandoned us after I had the audacity to divorce him - my son has never heard from him since he was 3 years old). Last Thurs. my son and DIL bought their first house. I sent him a text message that night telling him how proud I am of him for the man he's grown up to be and how well he's taking care of his family. His response: "Well thanks. I had a great mother showing me the way." When I wrote back and told him there are a lot of things I wish I could do over or had done differently, he responded with: "You did a great job knowing the circumstances. You never gave up and that is all that matters."

    Think I cried over all of that?? See, he has a two-year old son now, so he's finding out how difficult it is to work and be a husband and a parent, and he understands things he couldn't understand before.

    So they grow up, they leave your home, and at some point, they say "Thank You" for what you did for them.

    There are a lot of things I suck at right now. But I know that I didn't mess up (too badly anyway) the most important things in my life - my children. Being a single parent sucks; trust me, I know. But I followed every tweet you wrote when Gracie was burned recently. And no matter how many times you raise your voice or lose your patience or need your own time out from being a mom, you were an amazing mom through that.

    And that does not suck.

    xoxo
  • Yes and that's really the thing, thinking about the experience that Gracie will have overall, what she will take away from this as an adult ... and I'm sure all the time she spends w/ me, especially since I am around much more than I would be if I was back working as an attorney in a big firm.
  • Thank you for your frank, bold, honest, bravery!
    You are truly living as a leader, shining a brilliant beacon for us to gather around.
    And yes, some will disconnect, because living and speaking our truth is SCARY and some of us aren't ready...yet.
    And maybe some will never be. For some, the perceived risk is just too great.
    But for me, I'm letting it all hang out, "warts and all" I like to say, and I will be eternally grateful that you have chosen to serve the world by connecting the truth tellers, supporting us when we're afraid, and validating our journey toward living a life we love!
    Know that this is one woman who won't be disconnecting anytime soon...if ever :-)

    P.S. - Boy, do I know what you mean whenyou say "no wonder I'm not making any money" since you can't tell what I do on my website, and I don't have anything to sell! First step, awareness...next step: ACTION!
  • Yes! Here's to actually selling stuff on our websites!!
  • remarkablogger
    DIRTY DISHES IN THE SINK!?

    Peh... I'm OUTTA here.
  • Pfft. Don't tell anyone that was the only part that bothered me . . .
  • shannonshort
    We could SO be BFFs! :-) Thanks for sharing. I'm right there with ya! "The dirty dishes left in my sink. That some times I don't like my sweet, beautiful and innocent dog. My car is a mess - inside and out. The mail is piled up. I don’t always recycle.etc etc." Have a great Sunday and an even better week!
  • If that is you sucking then I love your suckage.

    And here are 10 ways I suck right off the top of my highlighted-blonde head:

    1. I have secretly and not-so-secretly consumed sugar- and/or grease-laden foods fit for 3-6 people alone, by myself, in one sitting. And finished only because there was no more. (Never thrown up, for the record.)

    2. I have used the "F" word more times than I can ever imagine or recall in wholly inappropriate situations w/wholly inappropriate company (eg my kids)

    3. When my kids were younger, I kept them in daycare say an hour longer sometimes so I could go to the grocery store by myself. I made it through 12 (so far) years of motherhood having taken my kids to the grocery store very, very few times.

    4. I've fantasized in great detail about how karma would catch up with people who f-ed me over.

    5. I pretended to be happy about certain things that I was not happy about for years. For the most part this has been corrected. But pretending was something I did a lot and was quite proficient at. Undoing pretending takes time and truth and work and slaps you in the face in a not-very-kind way sometimes.

    6. I am currently and still working on cutting out people, situations and patterns in my life that are so freakin lame they would make your head spin.

    7. In the past year, the crow's feet have really begun to concern me.

    8. I use certain parts of my life as calling cards to impress even when I know they are so not representative of who I really am (eg Ivy League education)

    9. I am, at my core, a writer who does not do what I am meant to do (write) nearly enough

    10. My knees are so white and not sexy or easy on the eyes that I will never ever wear shorts or a mini-skirt in public again. Unless offered 7 figures, and then would do so gladly.

    xo ~Alli
  • I love your list as well!!

    btw, I know an awesome product that will take the edge off those crow's feet for you =D
  • Thank you so much for putting up this list, Alli ... you are brave and awesometastic. And I want you to pay attention to #9. As we have discussed.

    P.S. My daughter knows the f word ... because I have (accidentally) said it in front of her. I also do not own a pair of shorts or a mini-skirt b/c, dude.
  • catherineavery
    OMG! I always leave DD with babysitter a little longer so that I can go to the grocery store. By. My. Self.
    Let's hear it for the sisters... We're makin' it happen!
  • #1 really, really cracks me up. I've been there.
  • Thank you Allison. #4 rocks. and your crows feet - reminded me of my double chin. YIKES
  • I can so relate to #2 & #3! I still drop the F-bomb on the boy when I'm really angry and I feel bad but he knows that's only reserved for when I'm super angry and mean business.

    And when I was on vacation, I paid for after school care (and let him stay to the normal time) just so that I could have the time to use as I pleased. I think the boy would have been disappointed not to have gone to the YMCA during those hours because when I did show up a little early, he always looked sad. LOL

    Here's not not being perfect!
  • Allison, you had me laughing out loud on several of these. because I can so relate.
    Especially to #3, #7, and #10. oh who am I kidding I can relate to all of them.

    #3 I do major schedule juggling in order to grocery shop alone.

    #7 the fact that my girls (4yrs), with increasing frequency ask "Mommy can we see your lines?) (referring to the ones across my forehead when I raise my eyebrows, is a bit depressing.

    #10 The knees so white thing has pretty much been an issue for me most of my life - so I finally gave up trying years ago.
    Rock on Allison!
    ;)
    Amy
  • jen.
    Thank you for this post - and you definitely do NOT suck. This touched me because it resonated so personally. I am getting more and more of this serendipity from life lately, and it's scarily cool! Yesterday I was musing over my expectation of myself of nothing less than saintly behaviour when I will cut anyone else slack. I don't get up and work out, and I don't write in my journal, and I haven't put up a web page or blog because then I couldn't pretend it might be a success. You're right, it does feel better. I think I'll go do something now, like take a walk and write in my journal. So there, you've sucked me into action - thank you!!
  • I'm so excited you are in action!

    And ... I'm interested in this whole not putting up a website/blog b/c it might be a success ... makes me want to tell you to put up a freaking blog. ;-)
  • We all have situations and things going on in our lives. No one has a perfect life. Most of the things you've listed here are things you don't do - like your bookkeeping, answering every email, updating your websites - however I am sure it's because you are busy doing other things. There is nothing wrong with that and you most definitely don't suck.
  • Well it is a relief to hear I am not the only one who is not perfect yet has an ongoing wrestling match with the insidious "not good enough" voice. I resonate with most of the items you shared to some degree yet the ones related to money have definitely been the source of my greatest challenge / growth over the last two years. I have gone from a completely financially independent person (be it with a JOB) prior to having children (twins), to the full-time primary care giver for them for the first two years of their lives. After the first two years, I definitely experienced somewhat of a crisis of identity around having worked very hard to become a mother and wanting to be there for my girls - while acknowledging the inner tension of no longer pursuing outlets for my full expression in addition to making the shift to a one income household - (my husband's). So the last two years, for me, have been about crafting my ideal vision (which involve becoming an entrepreneur), acquiring the new knowledge and skills I needed to make the transition, and walking the thin line between tending to the needs of others - while honoring my own. As I am sure you can relate - there is no easy formula for this - and the money piece is a complex one with roots that can run deep - often with elements we have been unconscious of. I have found this to be the case not only for myself but for many of my clients as well.

    So I just keep leaning in and putting one foot in front of the other will many bumps along the way - yet even more miracles.
    Although it is probably not as "hot" a post topic because it lacks controversy - I'd be interested in reading your equally long list of all the things you have done that make you sparkle and have moved you closer to your ideal. Because for me, the blending of both the struggle and the triumph are what make living the human experience so rich satisfying.
    ;)
    Amy
  • I think there are so many of us in this same position. But people are not talking about it. And, when that happens, that's what I do ... start talking about it.

    And I agree, I should write a post of my triumphs. Interesting that I find it easier to write a blog post about how I suck, versus a blog post about how I'm awesome.

    So, obviously, I must write it. Oy.
  • Yes, Elizabeth, please write it! I loved this post, because it shows your humanity -- and I could relate, especially since I'm an excellent self-flagellator. :) But I do know the value of focusing on the positives. You can't ignore the negative stuff, or the things you want to change... but I agree with Amy, it's the blending of both that makes us and our lives so wonderfully complex!

    So glad I've "met" you through Allison... take care.

    Best,
    Lea
  • If you were perfect you wouldn't need us. And we wouldn't need you back.

    I hate this quest for perfection I see in people around me. My first post-4-weeks video is going to be made as soon as the skies stop being this grey and it will be titled "Awesome kicks the ass of perfect". Perfection is the wrong ideal to seek! And in that video I will get VERY verbose as to why.

    And let me know if you would like some help pummeling your website into shape. I'd be happy to give you a hand.
  • Can't wait to see that video!! :)
  • Oh, that is good. "awesome kicks the ass of perfect". Thanks for sharing that!
  • OK, I'm having a "holy shit" moment. One of those where you say to yourself "holy shit I'm not the only one". Elizabeth - you are not alone sister! So I'm going to let it rip too. Why not.

    I'm taking money from my husband as well. I hate it, it's like I failed so hard. So I get that. We separated in December and I have 3 little kids, 6, 3 and 1 living with me. I had my power shut off this week for a full day because the bill wasn't paid.
    I often feel embarrassed to admit that I am tired and burnt out of staying home full time with my kids. I think I'm not a normal mom because I don't like cartoons, nope not even Sesame Street. I used to make fun of "stay at home moms" when I was 35 and raking it in (in a high power job I hated btw). I don't make fun of them anymore, no way.

    HOWEVER... even tho I have all this crap going on, so many changes, I'm actually finally feeling happy. I am finally starting to live my truth. To admit I'm not cut out to take care of 3 kids full time anymore, to perhaps not be married to my husband. To admit I'd rather SIT IN THE DARK THAN GO BACK TO WORK FOR THE MAN. To admit that many of those "perfect moms" bore me to death. I'd much rather make mistakes, LIVE than worry about the small stuff. A friend gave me some great advice when my husband and I separated.

    "Remember the view from the balcony, from 30000 feet". Puts a good perspective on your life.

    Elizabeth, I am incredibly proud to be a member of your "tribe" and I am not leaving. When I read your post during Sarah's 30 day challenge it was like you hit me square between the eyes! This is going to be a great journey, thank you for helping!
  • I once had to negotiate with the power company guy, on the front steps of my house, to keep the electric from being turned off. I was also blacklisted from AT&T for 10 years (not anymore, hence why I have an iPhone) because I was so late on a long distance bill. Also had an eviction notice nailed on my door -- now that was back when I was in law school ... but really, that was the last time I was single and on my own.

    And yes, I would rather take alimony for a while than have to go get a job. And the "going to get a job" is not a plan B ... I don't have a plan B. I have to make this work. And I think not having a plan B really is the only way I will ever play this game 100%.
  • Elizabeth, you just earned a million brownie points. I, in no way, think if you any differently. Now I shall let you in a couple secrets of mine: I've been making enough to just pay the bills the last year or so. At 19, will be 20 this Saturday, March 6th, I'll still don't have a car of my own. The entrepreneurial lifestyle is one I choose a few years ago and in just the last year has it been making me money.

    I dropped out of high school, barely got my GED, and decided back when I was 16 that I will not live my life like everyone else around me. It's paid off slowly so far but like I told my Dad last year, "If it takes me another year of living this way to get to where I want to go, so be it." It's a conscious choice and just like you made a choice Elizabeth, you've just gotta stick to the game plan.

    Just over the last couple months have I connected with really awesome people and been able to increase my income and value to the world. It's no several thousand dollars/month but it honestly and truly has been fun. At the end of the day, the more work and positivity you put into it, the more you will get out of it.

    I have some huge goals for this year, wanna kick ass with my social media consulting, have 2 ideas for 2 different products, one a membership site that I'd like to grow to one of the largest personal development sites in the world (I know, a very big statement), and another one just a program/course. This past Friday I took a day or so off because I needed to get clear with my goals and develop a much more stronger focus. And as well and I'm not afraid to admit it, I was getting a little lazy.

    Think positive, do positive work, work hard, and the results will show for it. Even if it takes a bit of time, the journey is what you really learn from anyways.
  • Mike -

    That's so awesome, thank you for sharing more of your story, and congrats on starting out your career this way, and not having to spend a bunch of time in the "normal world" like I did. I'm so excited to see what comes of all these projects you are working on ... and thanks so much for being in my tribe! :)
  • First off you don't suck! You're human. Your tribe those who are following you don't want or expect you to be perfect. We can't relate to perfect. We relate to human.

    And as I was reading your confessions I saw myself! I can't iron, my mail is all over my counter, and usually they are a sink full of dishes in the sink. Just know that you are not alone and the people who seem like they are perfect aren't sharing their less than perfect side probably.

    Actually I think it's a good thing you're not perfect. Because those business owners who are perfect and get stuck in perfectionism never even launch their products & programs. And to be honest the people who seem like the perfect parents, have the perfect house, and the perfect business make me frustrated. I'm normally a very happy, optimistic person, but I still think of what my cousin said about facebook when she was separating from her husband. It seems like everyone on facebook is always pretending to be so happy and talk about how awesome their life is.

    Jennifer
  • What I've found is those people who *seem* perfect ... just *seem* perfect ... they really are just better at hiding that we are. :)
  • Had to chime in here too. At least about the last sentence. I sometimes feel that my life is inadequate or I'm not having 'enough' fun as my 'FB friends' posting 'happy pics', 'happy comments' and all that 'happy stuff'. I actually do it too :-( in the form of positive quotes when I may be feeling far from positive.
  • So glad I'm not the only one who picks up on the }Facebook Pretty Face" posts! That is so true. I actually love it when someone posts something realistic about themselves, or how they are experiencing their day, or whatever. Authenticity.
  • Um yeah. The fact of the matter is, we all suck.

    Welcome to being a Renaissance Mom, girlie.

    We all have those 'dirty little secrets' that make the balance between entrepreneurialism and parenting kind of ghastly to people that don't know us.

    In my house, there is currently a dish-washing stand-off. we've been using paper and plastic for about a month now. Don't ask. :-)

    But the mission critical stuff still gets done. And that's the important "facade" we all put up.

    And I'm not even going to mention our rescheduled coaching call - which I only recently remembered I had "left over". You're SO not alone in this journey. It's why I launched this new company in the first place!

    Big HUGS!
  • Yes, it was funny that I put up this blog post just as I was missing our scheduling coaching call ... another great item to add to my list to confess. :)
  • Okay, when it reaches Marx Brothers levels of suckness, you just have to embrace the comedy and laugh, yes? (I can easily picture myself writing a blog post about balancing obligations to business and family while simultaneously missing a client call and failing to pick up my daughter from work.)
  • I am glad to hear your confessions, and I do not think you suck. I learned a lot about you, more than I knew before, and your openness to share who you are, with your fears and failures, is just exactly what I like to read. I am starting to speak my truth on my blog... objectively sharing what I can't directly share. I will be back to read more from you!
  • Thanks Jen, and congrats on speaking your truth in your blog! :)
  • Hmmm, I guess since I resemble all those things (except for having an ex-husband) I assumed they would all be true anyway! Is something wrong with any of the above?
  • No, there isn't ... and that's the point, eh?
  • Thank you for writing this. For being open, honest, real, HUMAN. For validating yourself shamelessly (because admitting one's "faults", even those that happen just because we're human, increases one's vulnerability but also one's honesty, and I can't help but respect that). For making it safe for the rest of us who look up to you, read you, admire you, work with you, etc (or who look up to anyone, for that matter), to realize that it is ok to be human. Nothing more, nothing less. Trying to be perfect is exhausting and fake. There is no truth on any level in living that perfect facade.

    You most certainly do not suck. I think it is awesome that you wrote this post and I respect the hell out of you for it. We need more open, unabashed honesty!

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. You are awesome.
  • Thanks so much Corey. :)
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