I sat down to write this blog post about my adventures in Austin 4+ hours ago. But I did not even opened up a blank text document to get started until this moment.
Instead, I futzed around on twitter. Facebook. Skype. Checked my Google Analytics. Researched when Lilith Fair will be touring this summer.
And then randomly decided I needed to memorize the lyrics to Indigo Girls “Closer to Fine” … thinking I was just procrastinating working on this blog post.
Ah, but the flow knew better. I couldn’t write this blog post because I didn’t have the hook I needed. The story or theme that tied the entire weekend together for me. And as I listened to this song, over and over again, I found the soundtrack to my take-away’s.
So now that I got that over with, let’s get started on the adventures in Austin.
Why Austin?
Back on November 6, 2009 (5 months from 6/6/09) I sent out this tweet from my hotel room in Las Vegas:
Ori Bengal (http://CouchSurfingOri.com) describes himself an adventurer, among other things. And he seriously is an adventurer. For the last 3 years he has been couchsurfing (as in, crashing on people’s couches/guest rooms all over North America) in pursuit of adrenaline rush, unique & weird experiences, and fascinating new people.
And when I first read his blog after meeting him in June at Scott Stratten’s tweetup, all I could think was:
wow, I wish I could lead a life like that.
And then on November 6th I was sitting in a hotel room in Vegas trying to think of what would be the most scary, pushing my comfort zone, personal growth thing I could do in the next year.
And it wasn’t about the jumping out of a plane or karaoke or any risky or embarrassing activity that I could come up with …
… it was going on an adventure spawned from another person’s mind.
Giving up control – that would push my comfort zone more than any experience I could design for myself.
So I threw that tweet out to Ori to see if he’d be interested in taking me up on this venture. And he was.
At first it was just a vague inclination for us to adventure in 2010 once I moved to San Diego, but after a bunch of late night skype conversations reminding me of all of the crazy stuff I used to do, I was done waiting. So I asked him if I could come out to Austin asap for our adventure.
And on January 8th I flew from San Jose to Austin for 51 hours of adventuring in Austin with @CouchSurfingOri.
Pushing My Comfort Zone
“The best thing you’ve ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously, it’s only life after all”
Dude. I had just agreed to fly 1/2 way across the country to hang out with some guy I knew from the freaking internet!
wtf epw?!?
Yes, by that time we had become virtual BFFs via twitter/facebook/skype/txt/email/phone, and my BFF Allison Nazarian knew Ori in real life from before twitter’s existence, and we had met once in person, but still. I was flying across the country to spend the weekend with a crazy adventurer guy. omg.
That was the most profound “pushing my comfort zone” thing of all – going on this adventure in the first place.
Sending that tweet. Asking to come. Getting on the plane.
The interesting thing is that each step felt totally sane and like myself.
That real part of myself that I am, when I forget to think about what’s reasonable. When I’m just existing in the moment and acting from inspiration and passion and truth.
And existing, in the moment, is the one place where I’m able to push my comfort zone. To fully experience being alive.
To fully experience being my real self.
Whether that’s drinking Sake for the first time at our friday night tweetup, flying 30 miles an hour across a gorge while suspended on a metal wire, or slipping t-shirts over my head for the first time in years.
It’s about putting aside that terribly practical ideal woman in my head who wants to keep me safe, conforming to a reasonable standard, sanitized from anything profound or sexy or real.
On his radio show on Monday talking about our adventure, Ori asked me whether I was an adrenaline junkie. I’m not. It’s not about the adrenaline.
I’m a personal development junkie.
And I mean that. I’m a junkie. I need it. Desperately. I need pushing myself to the brink of painful uncomfortableness to find that edge where I let go of the veneer of bullshit and start feeling.
Start living. As me.
Facing the Fear of Doing It Wrong
“I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it, I’m crawling on your shores.”
As we climbed the hill to the start of the zipline adventure, one of the instructors hiked up next to me: “You’re going to be fine.”
He told me how safe the ziplines were, how it supported tens of thousands of pounds, how he had been involved in its construction, how I wasn’t going to get hurt, etc. etc.
But I wasn’t worried about plummeting to the earth or breaking my fingers under the wheels or getting my long hair caught in the mechanism.
I was worried about doing it wrong.
How many things in life – speaking on a big stage, going on a first date, driving a stick shift – how many things was I avoiding – not because I was afraid of heckles or rejection or death – but because I was afraid that I would do it the wrong way.
That I would fail at the procedure of the experience.
Major wtf.
So the assignment I made to myself on the journey home from Austin was to search for non-passive physical experiences that required learning a skill. Where there was a real possibility of messing up the procedure.
Driving a motorcycle. Scuba diving. Taking an art class. Learning to fence. Ballroom dancing. Shooting a handgun.
And force myself to regularly face that fear I would totally suck at the skill.
And just do it anyway.
Trusting in Someone Besides Myself
“The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.”
As we drove back from the zipline, through the small town of Wimberley, Ori says: “See that horse? That would make a good picture, you on that horse.”
A few minutes later I was 6 feet up on a display fake horse in front of a roadside collectable shop.
“Put your arm up like you are waving a cowboy hat. Now yell. Make some noise.”
Are you freaking kidding me?
And that was just the start. A photo shoot with Ori had me wearing a fuzzy hat and a viking helmet, swinging a real sword, posing with a red swiffer mop and two bottles of Tito’s vodka, skateboarding down a subdivision street, holding wine and a beer stein filled with cranberry juice as disembodied arms surround me with pots.
All while laughing to Ori’s jokes. Or the ridiculousness of what he was asking me to do. Or trying to make the expression of how I would look if my daughter walked into the room holding a, well, use your imagination.
Any of you who read my stuff know how often I talk about flow. Trusting in the serendipity of the universe to let the day unfold in a way more magical than anything you could think your way into.
And that is the way to find the Nutty Brown Cafe & Amphitheater, to get the best falafel in New York City, to help your friend get a tattoo in Las Vegas.
But the next level is to give over control not to the universe, but to another person.
To trust that I’ll have a great couch to sleep on, that we will eventually find the sushi place, that I’ll look like my true self in the final photography (click for entire photo set from Ori).
Of course, I can’t just trust anyone with myself. Selecting people to trust (especially for an INFJ like me) must be studied and researched and intuitive.
But there is a certain point where I have to just let go.
Join in the magic of another person, of how that person sees my truth, of what should be done to free me to be myself …
… and see where that adventure takes us.
And Now Back to Reality … Or Not.
As soon as Ori dropped me off at the Austin airport on Sunday I started to feel post-travel blues set in. The slide back into normalcy. Ordinary. The mediocrity of regular life.
And as much as I wanted to go home and see my kid, I also wanted to stay in Austin. Or get on the next plane to anywhere. Or take off for another adventure.
But here’s the thing … why does it have to be one or the other?
Why should life be either home or travel? Ordinary or adventure?
So instead, I came back to San Jose and chose to live my life as if it was not ordinary. As if this wasn’t home.
Act here as I would if I was just passing through.
Yes, of course I have a kid here. And work to get done. And a house to clean up and sell. And an apartment to find. And all the details and to-do’s of life.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t plan tweetups. Keep my eye out for amazing people. Look for interesting opportunities.
Live with a mindset of adventure.
Even here, in my “ordinary” life.
—
If you want to hear more of the story of these adventures check out Ori’s interview of me on the CouchSurfingOri Radio Show.
Full Disclosure: This blog post and Ori’s radio show do not contain the whole story of the adventures that took place in Austin. Because, alas, some things are just not bloggable. I may put them in the Live Your Truth book. And the blog-transparency vs book-transparency vs what-stays-offline debate, that is a story for another blog post.
When was your last adventure? Have you explored your own town for the experiences it has to offer? What are you going to do to get beyond your comfort zone?
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I'm Elizabeth Potts Weinstein, a writer, teacher, and coach.