Sake & Ziplines, Couches & Swords: What I Learned on #austinadventures w/ @CouchSurfingOri

Sake & Ziplines, Couches & Swords: What I Learned on #austinadventures w/ @CouchSurfingOri

Posted on 14. Jan, 2010 by Elizabeth Potts Weinstein in Blog

I sat down to write this blog post about my adventures in Austin 4+ hours ago. But I did not even opened up a blank text document to get started until this moment.

Instead, I futzed around on twitter. Facebook. Skype. Checked my Google Analytics. Researched when Lilith Fair will be touring this summer.

And then randomly decided I needed to memorize the lyrics to Indigo Girls “Closer to Fine” … thinking I was just procrastinating working on this blog post.


Ah, but the flow knew better. I couldn’t write this blog post because I didn’t have the hook I needed. The story or theme that tied the entire weekend together for me. And as I listened to this song, over and over again, I found the soundtrack to my take-away’s.

So now that I got that over with, let’s get started on the adventures in Austin.

Why Austin?

Back on November 6, 2009 (5 months from 6/6/09) I sent out this tweet from my hotel room in Las Vegas:

Ori Bengal (http://CouchSurfingOri.com) describes himself an adventurer, among other things. And he seriously is an adventurer. For the last 3 years he has been couchsurfing (as in, crashing on people’s couches/guest rooms all over North America) in pursuit of adrenaline rush, unique & weird experiences, and fascinating new people.

And when I first read his blog after meeting him in June at Scott Stratten’s tweetup, all I could think was:

wow, I wish I could lead a life like that.

And then on November 6th I was sitting in a hotel room in Vegas trying to think of what would be the most scary, pushing my comfort zone, personal growth thing I could do in the next year.

And it wasn’t about the jumping out of a plane or karaoke or any risky or embarrassing activity that I could come up with …

… it was going on an spawned from another person’s mind.

Giving up control – that would push my comfort zone more than any experience I could design for myself.

So I threw that tweet out to Ori to see if he’d be interested in taking me up on this venture. And he was.

At first it was just a vague inclination for us to in 2010 once I moved to San Diego, but after a bunch of late night skype conversations reminding me of all of the crazy stuff I used to do, I was done waiting. So I asked him if I could come out to Austin asap for our .

And on January 8th I flew from San Jose to Austin for 51 hours of adventuring in Austin with @CouchSurfingOri.

Pushing My Comfort Zone

“The best thing you’ve ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously, it’s only life after all”

Dude. I had just agreed to fly 1/2 way across the country to hang out with some guy I knew from the freaking internet!

wtf epw?!?

Yes, by that time we had become virtual BFFs via twitter/facebook/skype/txt/email/phone, and my BFF Allison Nazarian knew Ori in real life from before twitter’s existence, and we had met once in person, but still. I was flying across the country to spend the weekend with a adventurer guy. omg.

That was the most profound “pushing my comfort zone” thing of all – going on this in the first place.

Sending that tweet. Asking to come. Getting on the plane.

The interesting thing is that each step felt totally sane and like myself.

That real part of myself that I am, when I forget to think about what’s reasonable. When I’m just existing in the moment and acting from inspiration and passion and truth.

And existing, in the moment, is the one place where I’m able to push my comfort zone. To fully experience being alive.

To fully experience being my real self.

Whether that’s drinking Sake for the first time at our friday night tweetup, flying 30 miles an hour across a gorge while suspended on a metal wire, or slipping t-shirts over my head for the first time in years.

It’s about putting aside that terribly practical ideal woman in my head who wants to keep me safe, conforming to a reasonable standard, sanitized from anything profound or sexy or real.

On his radio show on Monday talking about our , Ori asked me whether I was an adrenaline junkie. I’m not. It’s not about the adrenaline.

I’m a personal development junkie.

And I mean that. I’m a junkie. I need it. Desperately. I need pushing myself to the brink of painful uncomfortableness to find that edge where I let go of the veneer of bullshit and start feeling.

Start living. As me.

Facing the Fear of Doing It Wrong

“I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it, I’m crawling on your shores.”

As we climbed the hill to the start of the zipline adventure, one of the instructors hiked up next to me: “You’re going to be fine.”

He told me how safe the ziplines were, how it supported tens of thousands of pounds, how he had been involved in its construction, how I wasn’t going to get hurt, etc. etc.

But I wasn’t worried about plummeting to the earth or breaking my fingers under the wheels or getting my long hair caught in the mechanism.

I was worried about doing it wrong.

How many things in life – speaking on a big stage, going on a first date, driving a stick shift – how many things was I avoiding – not because I was afraid of heckles or rejection or death – but because I was afraid that I would do it the wrong way.

That I would fail at the procedure of the experience.

Major wtf.

So the assignment I made to myself on the journey home from Austin was to search for non-passive physical experiences that required learning a skill. Where there was a real possibility of messing up the procedure.

Driving a motorcycle. Scuba diving. Taking an art class. Learning to fence. Ballroom dancing. Shooting a handgun.

And force myself to regularly face that fear I would totally suck at the skill.

And just do it anyway.

Trusting in Someone Besides Myself

“The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine.”

As we drove back from the zipline, through the small town of Wimberley, Ori says: “See that horse? That would make a good picture, you on that horse.”

A few minutes later I was 6 feet up on a display fake horse in front of a roadside collectable shop.

“Put your arm up like you are waving a cowboy hat. Now yell. Make some noise.”

Are you freaking kidding me?

And that was just the start. A photo shoot with Ori had me wearing a fuzzy hat and a viking helmet, swinging a real sword, posing with a red swiffer mop and two bottles of Tito’s vodka, skateboarding down a subdivision street, holding wine and a beer stein filled with cranberry juice as disembodied arms surround me with pots.

All while laughing to Ori’s jokes. Or the ridiculousness of what he was asking me to do. Or trying to make the expression of how I would look if my daughter walked into the room holding a, well, use your imagination.

Any of you who read my stuff know how often I talk about flow. Trusting in the serendipity of the universe to let the day unfold in a way more magical than anything you could think your way into.

And that is the way to find the Nutty Brown Cafe & Amphitheater, to get the best falafel in New York City, to help your friend get a tattoo in Las Vegas.

But the next level is to give over control not to the universe, but to another person.

To trust that I’ll have a great couch to sleep on, that we will eventually find the sushi place, that I’ll look like my true self in the final photography (click for entire photo set from Ori).

Of course, I can’t just trust anyone with myself. Selecting people to trust (especially for an INFJ like me) must be studied and researched and intuitive.

But there is a certain point where I have to just let go.

Join in the magic of another person, of how that person sees my truth, of what should be done to free me to be myself …

… and see where that takes us.

And Now Back to Reality … Or Not.

As soon as Ori dropped me off at the Austin airport on Sunday I started to feel post-travel blues set in. The slide back into normalcy. Ordinary. The mediocrity of regular life.

And as much as I wanted to go home and see my kid, I also wanted to stay in Austin. Or get on the next plane to anywhere. Or take off for another .

But here’s the thing … why does it have to be one or the other?

Why should life be either home or travel? Ordinary or ?

So instead, I came back to San Jose and chose to live my life as if it was not ordinary. As if this wasn’t home.

Act here as I would if I was just passing through.

Yes, of course I have a kid here. And work to get done. And a house to clean up and sell. And an apartment to find. And all the details and to-do’s of life.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t plan tweetups. Keep my eye out for amazing people. Look for interesting opportunities.

Live with a mindset of .

Even here, in my “ordinary” life.

—

If you want to hear more of the story of these adventures check out Ori’s interview of me on the CouchSurfingOri Radio Show.

Full Disclosure: This blog post and Ori’s radio show do not contain the whole story of the adventures that took place in Austin. Because, alas, some things are just not bloggable. I may put them in the Live Your Truth book. And the blog-transparency vs book-transparency vs what-stays-offline debate, that is a story for another blog post.

When was your last ? Have you explored your own town for the experiences it has to offer? What are you going to do to get beyond your comfort zone?

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  • Hey ElizabethPW! This is the first time I've read your blog. You know what? I like you. Why not turn your life into an adventure? What else are you going to do anyway? I'm cheering you on through this here computer screen. Can't you see me giving you two thumbs up?
  • Mike Mann
    Now that you are a PRO zip line rider, try out WIRED in Canton, Texas www.ziptheusa.com home of the longest zip line in TEXAS
  • lorilatimer
    Due to my own "work" and then travels, I'm just now reading this. But I so understand what you're talking about... I have to go to LAX tomorrow to get on a flight back to ATL to my "normal life." I grew up in L.A. but have lived in ATL for 21 years... but what you said hit me right on... I'm just passing through there. Even though I have children and a grandson there, I want MORE than that... I want to travel for the adventure, to meet new people, and to have new experiences.

    Thank you so much for putting into words what I've been feeling for quite a while but haven't found the voice... or the courage... to say.

    Just one more reason I've come to love you and your blogs and adventures since I met you in Oct.! And I hope that one day soon we will meet again on one of our adventures :)

    Hugs, Lori
  • Oh man, EPW, you rock - good on you on pushing past that "Don't pass this sign" sign! And welcome to the world of t-shirts ;-) Here's to internet friendships changing lives!
  • Everyone that wants to see EPW's photo set- check out: http://www.couchsurfingori.com/2010/01/18/is-th...
  • thereseskelly
    Hey EPW, love this one!!! And the Indigo's just rock.

    Not sure if you knew this, but in another life (20 yrs ago) when I ran drug treatment groups, the word "fine" was an acronym for - F'd up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional Wreck.

    So the Indigo Girls are saying that the less we seek our Source, the closer we are to being a wreck!
    All the more reason to stay connected, don't you think? And thru experiencing life the way you are and bumping into your stuff....you get to find that> Very cool!
  • wendymaynard
    So, where is the picture of you in the Viking helmet?
  • It'll be posted tomorrow. I already processed it, but forgot the 2TB drive at my other couch.
  • Go ask @CouchSurfingOri - he's only giving me a couple pics a day! ;)
  • Kerry Patterson Capps
    I love that you did your vague 2010 Adventure in the beginning of January! That's awesome. Don't wait for life and adventures. Do it Now!

    I also profoundly understand your being afraid not of doing things, but of doing them wrong. I never really made that distinction, but it is a big one. We must not let perfectionism rule us. Consistency in putting ourselves out there, out of our comfort zone...consistency in waking up and asking ourselves what can I do today that I have never done...consistency in the bravely facing of the unknown . Consistency is the answer to the stagnation of perfectionism. I have lived much of my life not doing things because I couldn't do them perfectly. So thank you for reminding us that perfection isn't important...the doing is important. Enjoy your adventures!
  • Wimberley.

    Used to live out around there, way out past Buda.

    Nice country.

    Just be a little mindful of fire ants and prickly pear, real easy living.

    Lot of ringtail cats in that country. Roadrunners, coyote and armadillo too.

    Big sky.

    Blue rivers.

    Kind of miss it now that I think of it.

    Thanks for bringing back some memories.
  • Having met Ori in person and having watched so many of your videos and read your posts, I feel like I could hear your conversations and see you climbing on that wooden horse.

    I need to take on your challenge of finding the adventure in my ordinary life.

    Thanks for another fabulous insight into your truth (which very often reveals slices of my own.)

    Talk soon,
    Susan
  • If you learn to ride a motorcycle, you are way more woman than I am. Then again, you already are for submitting yourself to someone else's adventure ideas. Scary!

    I am very into the experience-your-hometown-like-a-visitor thing. Every time I come back from a trip, I rethink New York and try to walk through my neighborhood the same way I'd take a walk in, say, Rome. Pretty cool. And, in those moments, I don't think "asshole" when I see a tourist taking pictures of something random and dumb.
  • yeah... not just ANY person's adventures... a crazy adrenaline junky with a twisted sense of humor! What a brave gal (I happen to have a motorcycle license too :) ). When she gets that license, I think we'll have to do an adventure motorcycle roadtrip.
  • Daaaaaaaamn you are really stepping it up!

    Have you ever tried a day where you make EVERYTHING into an adventure? Tidying the loungeroom, reading a book, driving to the shops... all done with epic, dramatic and adventuresome elan? You're tired by 6:30, but WOW! what a day.
  • For some reason I just started getting emotional while reading your post! You seem to have to a gift for bringing out the truth in people. I don't even know why I got emotional but I did.

    I love the idea of living like you are just passing through, but I don't even know how to do that. The biggest thing for me that I did recently is join a fitness club where I can go work out, swim, and get massages while the kids play in the awesome play area. I know this doesn't sound that exciting, but for me this is huge. I've always been so focused on my biz that I was never very good at taking care of myself. But doing so much better already.

    I think what is hard is every day seems like groundhog day. Usually it's a very good ground hog day. But it's the same things over and over again. Taking care of the kids, cleaning the kitchen, laundry. You get the idea.

    Do you or Ori have any suggestions for making the everyday things we need to do seem like an adventure? Or is it that you just add a splash of adventure to your life to make the ordinary things better.

    This year my big adventure is going to be SXSW. Last year I went for one day and crashed! That was way out of my comfort zone.

    I'm excited because this year my parents are going to watch my kids for a whole week. Since I've already crashed SXSW & videotaped a ton of strangers once I need to think of what my adventure is going to be for this year. Any ideas?
  • Wow, that homework I gave EPW to treat her home like she's out of town is really spreading! That's fabulous! As to how to do that? That's really easy --- go up to random strangers (or to the friends you know... but... random strangers really doubles the effect) - and ask them "If I just got into town, and I'm here for the weekend-- what should I check out?" You can get more specific if you actually are looking for a particular activity- i.e. Where's a good place to go glass blowing? (I actually asked that, and went glass blowing- something I Wanted to do since I was 5) or Where's the best thai food? Or where is a great place to dance? -- but if you really want adventure, just try doing everything differently-- i.e. take a different route to work. Wear jeans instead of a dress. Wear a dress instead of jeans. Drink coffee instead of tea. Try a different coffee than you've ever had. Try a different kind of food that you never had. Don't order your regular things. Call up people you haven't called up in forever.

    Like I told EPW in how to be Epic (http://bit.ly/7amZ9A) - start asking your kids how to do certain things, and follow their instructions... guarantee you that your "Groundhog day syndrome" will disappear.

    More thoughts-- since you said your days consist of taking care of the kids, cleaning, laundry, kitchen.... I would consider playing music loudly -- and vary your music. Check out awesome sites like TheSixtyOne (http://TheSixtyOne.com - actually, go straight to http://www.thesixtyone.com/#/top/) -you'll discover all sorts of music awesomeness. Maybe do the laundry at a laundromat, and talk to strangers. Kitchen- new recipes/ingredients (food network has an awesome site). Add hobbies at the house-- painting? knitting? drums? Get that Rockband game for the whole family to play. Throw dinner parties. Throw game parties. Paint the house--- but not a solid color.. marble, etc... Not necessarily recommending it-- but, work around the house in a different state of mind (drink, etc) - The hobbies are great though, 'cause that's something you can do as a family. Maybe hobby night- - everyone is getting a new hobby. Try new ones until you all find ones you like.
  • Thank you so much, I'm so honored that the post touched you like that!

    What I do is think about two things: what would I do if I was visiting my city, and what would I do if someone from out of town was visiting & I was showing them around?

    And that includes stuff w/ the kids ... so if I was visiting you with Gracie, where would you take us? Even just different playground or shopping mall than your usual can make a difference in your day.

    I also think of little day trips (including stuff that does not cost money) like driving to a nearby county/state park for a short hike or picnic, or driving to the next town (or even spending the night) and being a "tourist" for a day in that town/city ... even just walking around!

    The big change for me is thinking of adventures as both big and small. Yes, I'm planning a bunch of big travel-type adventures ... but also small ones. Like this weekend I'm going to a pool hall. I haven't been to a pool hall in what, 12 or 13 years!?! Think of different food you can cook/eat, different clothes you can wear, even different routes you can take on your errands.

    As far as your "big adventure for the year" ... I bet you do know what it is. ;) What kind of scares you? What would pull you out of your comfort zone?
  • Great post. I can see that your mind has been properly infected with adventure. For some reason, it reminds me of "The Live" (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096256/) - a movie where a guy finds a pair of sunglasses that when he puts them on, he can see that Aliens have taken over our planets... they live amongst us, and have signs that control us... and we have been brain washed to not see them. Why does your blog post remind me of that? Because everyone is just fine with their normal life. They may be unhappy and not know why... as you were... but then with the proper catalyst, they are free to go experience life, and figure out what makes them happy.
    I think your motorcycle driving idea is brilliant! You live in Cali too, so you can go riding up the PCH-1! I took a motorcycle driving class before getting a bike (Honda CBR600 F2... a crotch rocket. Never took it faster than 140mph though), because I figured that would help me rationalize to mom that it's ok for me to get a bike (reverse psychology ended up being the key). I was doing wheelies (accidentally) in that class. While as a young'un I might fear jumping off a rooftop, yet with each scary action I take, I get used to being able to bypass my survival instincts, and do these scary things... to the point where I'm now addicted. It takes a lot more to get "The Rush" -- i.e. while everyone walked slowly up to the ledge to launch off the zipline, I ran... I figured ways to zip faster (kicking forward helped). It felt too safe. Adrenaline is more exciting than sex for me. It's not just adrenaline, it's also accomplishment... same rush. But, the bar keeps getting higher and higher for what it takes to feel it. I hear the same story is what happens to drug addicts. *sigh*
    Either way- as you said, you're a personal development junkie (as am I).... Personal develoment is not just about learning new information, but also about pushing your comfort zone... that creates growth. Thus, adrenaline rush activities are personal development... and both are addicting.

    A little less obvious.... gleil cells are part of your brain... there is a great lecture by Dr. Lee Pulos where he states how Einstein's brain was studied... he had 78% more gleil cells than most people (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Einstein%27...). They studied rats (Their brain is VERY similar to the human brain), and it turns out that based on their enviornment, the rats actually developed more gleil cells when they were given a fun enviornment that had more stuff to do... when they put those rats in boring enviornments, they not only lost their gained gleil cells, but also lost additional ones. So... an additional form of personal development is to have fun. When you have fun, your body develops some more... additional brain cells, reduced cholesterol, etc... This lecture was brought up to me as "Ori, I figured why you're so damn smart! You always have fun, and you're always working no stuff you enjoy! Listen to Dr. Pulos, you'll get a kick ouf of it"

    Not only having fun is key though... but also avoiding stress. I tend to not stress much (Couch 15 said "If Ori was any more laid back, he wouldn't have a pulse").... Dr. Pulos said it as "Every time you stress out, it's like dunking your brain cells in an acid bath. That, and the body produces cortisol, which makes the body store fat, increases blood pressure, etc... This could be added to your sales letter :)

    In summary-- have fun, learn, push your limits, do what you like (or there's consequences), and do stuff that scares the living shit out of you.
  • The idea of driving a motorcycle down highway 1 sounds like the most scary thing imaginable ... which means I eventually will need to do it. (augh!) Yes, and that is one scary side effect, it takes more and more to get that rush ... but for me part of it is that since it's not just about pure adrenaline stuff, it's also about pushing my boundaries generally, I don't need to jump off of buildings anytime in the near future.

    You know, how does the brain know the difference between adrenaline-stress and "bad" stress? I mean, they have similar effects on our bodies ... maybe the difference is our enjoyment of what we are doing, there's some chemical effect of that enjoyment that makes the same hormones effect our brains in different ways, depending upon if the stress is "good" or "bad" ....

    Awesome. And thank you so much Ori for that weekend with you, as I said before, it was exactly what I needed. :)
  • Another great blog...any video from the trip to Austin? Nothing like a good story told with video.
  • Ori is in possession of all the pictures & video ... so you'll have to nag him about it. ;)
  • accompanyc
    Your description of "failing at the procedure/sucking at the skills" sure struck home! You are quite brave to have at it head on (or maybe there is no other way to do it?) I'm guessing a good Adventure guide helps.
    Thanks for sharing - I'm looking forward to the rest of Adventures with Ori - or what you are willing to divulge.
  • I'd like to think that the best (divulged and undivulged ) are yet to come! An adventure guide is only a warm-up... It seems EPW is addicted, and wants to let her fun self out to play... so, now that she's on the path to be the one that makes everyone else see that life is - and should/needs to be - fun. Guess it's a pay-it-forward kind of things. Virus of the mind, baby :)
  • I love the idea of treating where you live as if you were just passing through... for a lot of my work terms, that was true! I've lived & worked in a few different places and each time we maximized our time exploring... trying new things, visiting places, and being tourists/travelers. Never assuming we'd be back. Though I have been back, and I plan to go back, I think it's a great reminder to live life like there's no coming back.

    Awesome awesome stuff EPW & Ori!
  • When I settle, I get into my workaholic mode, so I try not to settle any one place, or even if I'm local, I bounce around between different peoples' homes. Then there's the whole surrounding myself with people that know I love adventure, thus they pull me away from my workaholic vices. But.. .really, we tend to go to so few places once we're stable somewhere... and there's not even a need to go out of town, as there's so many unknown places right in our backyards.
  • I *used* to do that when I was younger and just lived in places for a few months, but as I got older and "settled down" I stopped. (Course, now I've realized that I'm not settled and will never be, so that also changes the dynamic.)

    Can't wait to see you at SXSW! :)
  • Vikings helmet and disembodied hands. OK. Now this I gotta see... Was an experience meeting Ori (and you) for the first time, too. Thank you for that.
  • I can't wait until Ori gets those pics posted! Was great to meet you IRL also LuAnn!
  • Speaking of getting those pics posted (tomorrow) - did you post to everyone that this post now has some photos in it?
  • assignments on my adventure in the bay area: buy t-shirts (done!), practice expressions in the mirror, move to San Francisco, go to gun range, go ballroom dancing.
  • I want to see pics of these 3 new fun shirts!
  • I was reading this, and thought "hey! There's one assignment. There's another. There's another piece of homework I gave her!" -- Good stuff. Another piece of homework was to treat where ever you live as if you're passing through - as you wrote -- but I hope that your readers take that one to heart... if everyone did that, Hulu/tv would lose a lot of followers.
  • Agreed, that's the biggest take away here that *everyone* can use, regardless of how complicated their life is or how much money they have ... we can all treat where we live as if we don't live there.
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