I’m co-authoring a book - to be out in January 2007!

The book is called Power & Soul: 40 Successful Entrepreneurs Share their Secrets for Creating the Business and Life of Your Dreams, and my chapter is entitled Embracing Chaos with Grace: Balancing the Worlds of Modern Mommy and Money Maven. I’m so excited to be a published author, and share the ideas I have discussed on this blog with the world — the challenge, and joy, of running a business while being the primary caregiver of an active toddler. Once I know the date I will have the books ready for sale, and a website for ordering, I will post it in this blog! So, how did I get this opportunity? I’m in a mastermind group with Ali Brown, an eZine and internet marketing guru, and she decided to spearhead a compilation book of some of the members of her mastermind group. The book is sort-of self-published by the entire group … what I mean, is that we all have to buy a few cases of the book at wholesale cost, up front, and that pays for professional editing, graphic design, layout, and the first printing. We don’t have to come up with any more money except to pre-order books — and it works because we are in a group, and can spread out the costs. In my case, when Ali first offered the book opportunity to the group, I passed. The idea of writing a publishable 1500 word chapter in a few weeks seemed to hard, with everything else going on. But really, I was just not ready yet. I didn’t know what I would say. In November, a few more slots opened up. I had to make a split second decision to join up — and commit to come up with a topic in a few days, and write the chapter in 2 weeks. But then, I was ready. I had been writing in this blog for a few months, and had experienced even more challenges in the summer and fall, with childcare and Gracie getting older. I now had something to say. When opportunity knocked the first time, I was not ready to answer the door. But, since it was meant to be, she rang the doorbell again — and this time, I knew how to answer!

3:30 AM is not a reasonable wake-up time …

I seemed to have birthed a morning person. Which is generally fine with me, because I am a fellow morning person, up between 5:30 and 6:30 AM, without the aid of an alarm clock — and my most productive hours are typically in the morning. But 3:30 AM is ridiculous. This morning Gracie was ready to party at 3:30 AM. Should I just leave her screaming in her crib? Much more difficult to do now, that (1) she yells specific requests — "mommy" and "up" — instead of unspecific crying, and (2) I’m afraid it will finally occur to her that she could climb out of her crib (and I want her to stay there for a bit longer). Now that she can talk, I don’t feel like I am letting a blob-like baby cry it out — I feel like I am cruelly denying a human being what they need. I tried taking her to bed with us, which works if her need is mommy-cuddling. But, no, that just egged her on. Because this morning, what Gracie wanted was mommy-playing. She climbed over me, played with the covers, and tried her new trick of attempting to merge our faces together by pushing (not sure if that works in this space-time continuum). So I gave it up and turned on an Elmo DVD. Now, I’m not that upset about her being a moody toddler today, because that’s the nanny’s problem (she’s with Gracie from 8-2 today). But, I am working this morning, drafting a chapter for a book (due this Thursday), editing bylaws for a volunteer organization, and meeting with two new clients. I could have used a few more hours of sleep — but that is the side effect of having a toddler — the wonderful joys of having an unpredictable life. Perhaps Gracie is in training to start a new donut or coffee franchise. Fine, as long as I get a good cut of the IPO.

Am I doing it for her … or am I doing it for me?

Many working moms, in or out of the home, say the are "doing it for their kids." Even with mompreneurs — women claim starting a business is for their kids, to be a role model, earn an income, and, eventually, pass on their business. I make no such claim. I am doing this for me. Yes, I am also a role model for Gracie — an example that a woman can love her work, be passionate about helping others, and achieve financial success. Yes, I also am physically there for Gracie, around most of the time — the "quantity" theory of spending time with your kids — and I consciously spend concentrated "quality" time with her each day. Yes, I am earning an income for the family, and the expansion of my business in upcoming months will bring in even more income and success. But I am doing it for me. I love running my own business — being in charge, able to switch directions in a moment, able to explore the success of any new idea or product, as soon as I make a choice. I love owning my time, able to spend time on my business, or myself, or with my family — completely up to me. I love working with human beings as clients, helping them with real problems that plague their lives, and make their lives significantly better. I love that whatever success I achieve (and whatever failure happens), is totally and completely mine. I also am completely in love with my daughter. I love that she spends more waking hours with me than anyone else. I love her whispy hair, her smiling eyes, the way she runs with her arms wide open when I enter the room. I love when she surprises me by figuring something out the "books say" she should not be able to do for another six months. Or when she suddenly is able to walk down stairs by herself, or call someone by their name. I don’t want to miss any of it. But I also know that if I was there for every second, I would burn out. I would not appreciate it, because my damanding, high-energy toddler would drain every ounce of energy out of me, if I did not have something completely for myself, to recharge my batteries. Yes, being a Mompreneur also benefits my family. But I am doing it for me.

Leaving Baby at Home with Daddy

I writing from the Hilton Los Angeles Airport, and my baby is back home in San Jose with daddy. I miss her. During the flight, and in the hotel, I keep seeing things I want to share with her, describe to her — and I am resisting the urge to babyproof the room. But life is incredibly more simple sans baby. For example — going through airport security. Instead of removing my shoes while chasing a toddler through the line (hoping she does not take off through the metal detector — what would they do, shut down the airport?) — going through security is calm and easy. Instead of entertaining a a baby on the floor of the terminal, I was part of regular civilization, sitting in a chair (!) and worked on a project while waiting for my flight. BTW — the project would have taken 60-90 minutes with Gracie around — at the airport, I got it done in 20 minutes. Everyone is so much simpler, not just because Gracie is a handful, but also because she requires so much Stuff — diaper bag, toys, car seat, stroller, milk (and getting that through security!). But I miss her. I woke up at 5 am because I thought I heard her crying. Instead of opening my eyes, I waited for the second cry — and realized I heard a plane taking off outside. Oh yeah, I’m in a hotel. The best benefit of traveling? Daddy, alone home with Gracie, learns to fully appreciate Mommy.

Is an entrepreneur made or born?

Are business owners destined to start a business? Or is entrepreneurship something that can be taught, a skill, like learning how to be a surgeon or accountant? When I was 5 years old, my mother was contacted by my school because I got in trouble. Shocked, because I was a good student, she asked the kindergarden teacher what happened.

My teacher had told me to do something that I did not want to do. I responded, "You are not the boss of me. I am the only boss of me."

Are we surprised that 24 years later I quit a six figure job and promising legal career in a fancy law firm, to open my own business? My nephew Eli is very much the same. At age 5, when he enters a playground he immediately starts organizing the children into a complicated game of his own design (including kids 8 years his senior who have no interest in being bossed around by a kindergardener). On his first day of school, he went around the room introducing himself, and told the prettiest girl in the room that he had saved the seat next to him just for her. He’s going to be either an entrepreneur, a politician, or a evangelist. So perhaps I am especially programmed, given a set of gifts that makes me think like an entrepreneur. If we are being chartiable, call me confident and comfortable with risk. If we are being somewhat uncharitable, call me a know-it-all. But it is more than that. To start a business, not only do you need to be confident in your abilities, and comfortable with the possibility of failure — you must be a smart worker (not just a hard worker), efficient. Able to see the unexpected, put 2 and 2 together to make Q’. The ability to dream, to care, to want to change something and actually have the guts to do something about it. Vision. Entrepreneurship is not just vision, though. Vision is 20% of success — it is the motivation, why we are here, the dream of success and how we will change the world. But that’s only the start — 80% is follow-through. Will you stick it out, through everyone thinking you’re crazy, months of ineffective marketing, piles of paperwork, complaining clients, late hours of wondering if you will ever break even, and then, if you will ever be able to pay yourself a salary? You must also work smart. Instead of just plodding through, working hard, you must be a marketing expert, a business strategy expert. You must find experts to help you reach this vision — read books, blogs, website, e-books, go to seminars and conferences, hire a coach or two. And then finally, you must have brass b*lls. You must have the gumption to ignore the comments and criticism and not them deter you from your choosen path. When I quit my job, the partners at my old firm thought I was crazy. One partner kept trying to convince me that I "had a future" there (but was that a future that I wanted?) and telling me how good my review was going to be in a few weeks. And, he said that he hoped that I would fail so I would come back and work for him (is that supposed to make me want to come back?). Another started asking me, how was I going to get clients, how was I going to do marketing (I would still have to do that as an attorney…). But by the time I quit, I knew exactly what I was going to do. I knew it was my destiny, and had an answer for every question. By that time I had been working on my business during train rides, lunch breaks, and after hours, and already had a plan and was excecuting on that plan. Some people would not be able to handle that criticism. Some people would let someone in authority talk them out of it. That is the difference between an entrepreneur and an employee.

How do daycare users do it?

I now fully appreciate the #1 reason a nanny is superior to daycare. On Monday Gracie got a bunch of shots, including the fourth booster of her DTaP. Not fun for either of us — but it’s over in a few seconds, and after some cuddling and her paci, she recovered quickly. Or so I thought. As the day went on, Gracie became more and more tired — such that right before her bedtime, I found her curled up in the rocking chair with her two favorite dolls (Dora and a cabbage patch, both with silky hair). Very odd for a child who is typically running around the house screaming and chasing the cat, at the 10-minute-to-bedtime countdown. But, perhaps her nap was not long enough, and she had a busy day … That night I packed Gracie’s snacks and diaper bag for backup daycare — for October my regular nanny is still on maternity leave, and my summer nanny is back in school — so I am using the daycare available as a backup childcare solution through my husband’s law firm. Gracie enjoys going there — a great chance to play with new toys, new kids, and new adults. And, I can get some work done. But Tuesday morning Gracie woke up hot. And not hungry (a first!). Her temp was 99.7 underarm (which means almost 101 internal) — officially un-daycare-able. I tried to douse her with Motrin - but she was still obviously lethargic, and I am too honest to try to fool daycare. Made me so mad — it was just from the vaccine — but I could not put her in daycare becuase of her fever. On Tuesday, I had two new client appointments scheduled, a handbook to write, and a teleseminar class at noon. I hate canceling! I thought of calling a service for a nanny to watch Gracie while I have my appointments and teach my class. I was so angry — why is it that I am the one who has to cancel everything to take care of Gracie? Why is there no system to help me? It’s not fair that everyone else has family or friends or neighbors who can help out! (of course, I was the one who moved from Missouri to California …) But later that afternoon, Gracie woke up from her nap, early and feverish. I held her in my arms for the next hour while she slept. Sleeping, she was an infant again — all perfect, peaceful, and venerable. How long until she no longer wants to cuddle with mommy? My anger evaporated. Gracie is the most important thing to me — and if I have to reschedule client appointments, and record my class afterhours for download distribution — that’s fine. She’s not a sacrifice — she’s a joy! But I am glad that my regular nanny is starting Nov. 6th. A Nanny is double the cost than daycare, but infinitely more convenient.

Is it possible for a solopreneur to take a vacation?

Not sure if I am capable of taking an "at home" vacation anymore. I’m great at not checking email or doing work when I am out of town, but last week when Grandma and Papa were here, I was working on projects and checking email all day long most days (except when we were out of the house). Probably was also influenced by my dad, who has his own internet business, and was answering phone calls and doing a bit of work throughout the week. Hard to cut off when you are a solo-preneur, since there really isn’t anyone else to deal with the issue, or solve the problem. And, hey, we love it, don’t we? That’s why we are doing it — it’s not just a job, it’s a passion, a hobby we get paid for — so we don’t feel that need to escape felt by those who are still employed. But we do need a break. If nothing else, just to recharge, get new ideas about pending issues, let our minds incubate until we attack the projects upon our return. On Wednesday, I made a conscious effort to not work for the entire day. I felt incredibly decadent. Perhaps I should calendar vacation-days regularly. Or at least take one day off each week.

Running a business — with out of town guests

My parents visited this week, from St. Louis, Missouri — great for Gracie, and actually very helpful for me. This month I do not have regular childcare, and am trying to run my business with just 1-2x week of backup daycare, and lots of television. Not optimal. So, Grandma and Papa watched Gracie on Tuesday while I wrote the handbook for Week 3 of my 8 Weeks teleseminar, and while I conducted Week 3 of session A (noon) and Week 1 of session B (8:00 PM). I felt slightly guilty for them to spend one day mostly babysitting, but actually it was a great chance for them to spend alone time with Gracie. By the end of the week, Gracie was calling them Grandma and Papa, and was totally comfortable hanging out with them when I was not around — success! I just wish Grandma and Papa lived around here — partially for the bonding, but also for the babysitting.

Camping alone with a 18 month old toddler is crazy.

But it is a great workout. In two days of camping, I lost 7 lbs — even though I stayed hydrated and ate tons of junk food. From what, you may ask? Chasing a baby around the campground while simultaneously erecting a tent, starting a campfire, heating water for a bottle, and driving off raccoons who did not seem phased by me screaming at them. Add a few mini-hikes with Gracie in the backpack carrier, and I had a major boot camp workout. Dear Husband (aka Mark) was unable to come out with us on Thursday afternoon, and did not arrive until Friday dinnertime, due to work issues. When he arrived, he was not in mental shape (or dressed) for camping, and was freaking out because his blackberry had stopped working a mile before the campground entrance, so he did not know if a Notice was served. I responded by placing Gracie inside the SUV to watch Dora on DVD (horrible to give in to this when we are trying to enjoy nature, but oh well), dousing Mark with a few glasses of Pinot Noir, and making reassuring noises while Mark paced around the campfire talking nonstop until the wine kicked in. Mark is not a camper. Until me, he had never even built a campfire or roasted s’more’s. And he still is not really into it. Quote - "we work hard and make all this money so we can buy a nice house, and so we pack up our car and decide to camp in a tent in the woods, like a homeless person?" Of course, just by driving through the campground, we can see that homeless people need not apply — the campground is full of BMW’s, Mercedes, and $40K SUV’s. He just does not get the charm of sleeping on the ground (actually, a nice air mattress) or taking an hour to assemble and break down camp (lessons in self-reliance, and following directions). I’m planning to problem solve those two issues for him by buying a pop up trailer camper. Either an A-line ($10-16K new) or the Trailmanor ($26K new and heavier). Need to research them more, and find out if the new SUV can tow them (and I can feel comfortable driving with a trailer). But if I can get him sleeping on a real mattress, and make settling up camp take just a few minutes, then maybe he can enjoy camping. Or at least not complain. I can only deal with one baby with me when I am camping.

My first teleseminar!

I just had to congratulate myself on my first teleseminar — yay!

There was a bit of weirdness because only one person was on the call (the rest did not attend since the call was being recorded), but the attendee was a wonderful women who gave me positive, uplifting feedback. I celebrated by taking myself out to lunch, ordering not only a sandwich, but also Chips and a Cookie — and reading a non-work, non-intellectual novel for 45 minutes. How luxurious.
I now sit at the computer, take a deep breath and pause before I start plunging ahead on next week’s teleseminar materials, financial analysis for private clients, paying payroll taxes, and a Get Acquainted appointment with a prospective client this afternoon.

No, it never stops. But, I am making progress.

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